Base Camp 2.2
Sending LifeLines After Acting out
17,750 ft
“It’s the job that’s never started that takes the longest to finish.”
The Lord of the Rings
Base Camp 2.2: Breaking the Cycle by Sending LifeLines After Acting Out
Goals of Base Camp 2.2:
The Goal of Base Camp is to give you tools you will need on this journey. Each tool is carefully planned and timed. This elevation is one of the longest and one of the most foundational.
The best way to describe this elevation is like we are going to load you up with lots of climbing tools. Some of them you will like right away. Some you will connect strongly with over time. Others you won’t connect with or understand their importance. But all of the tools presented here will be used in time on this amazing journey.
We will learn new words to use to describe our acting out
We will learn about what makes us go back to acting out
We will learn about ways to keep us safe
We will learn about a new kind of accountability
How long does Base Camp take?
This elevation of the Climb takes about 6-9 months depending on the work you put in.
When are you ready for the next level of Everest?
When you and your Sherpa agree that everyone understands all of the tools, everyone is using the tools appropriately and the group regularly reaches out for LifeLines (to be explained later) during preoccupation.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. “All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Isaiah 41: 1—13
Main Ideas To Remember in Base Camp 2.2
After Acting Out We are Immediately Sending a LifeLine
We are stopping Evil from taking us into despair
We are leaving the Shame and Honor struggle (running from our shame and being seen honorable by others) and entering a J-Curve
Entering the Repentance J-Curve
Going down by repenting
Going up by experiencing God’s forgiveness and grace to try again
We are learning how to pray
Each LifeLine should end in a prayer, texted out, to the men in your group. We are all praying together. This is not a solo climb. We want to make sure our prayers aren’t self loathing, but real prayers of repentance and acceptance of Jesus’ love for us.
Text the full repentance prayer to the men in your climb.
We are learning what Evil uses to draw us in
Each time we send a LifeLine or read someone else’s LifeLife we are learning about each others stories and what Evil is saying to each one of us specifically. How is evil pulling you in? What are you hearing?
We are learning to believe this verse about ourselves. This is our main verse after we go Inner Circle, for us to believe and read to each other:
And as he was praying, heaven was opened and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”
Luke 3: 22
It’s Time To Start Sending LifeLines
2.2.1
It’s time to move on from accountability.
The Church doesn’t really know what to do with people who struggle with unwanted sexual behaviors. At it’s best, the only two tools The Church has talked about are 1) blocking porn on your computers/devices and 2) accountability. But what we see all around us are millions of men trapped by going inner circle and can’t seem to escape evil’s grip on their private life.
Let’s talk about accountability for a moment.
In a standard accountability group, a couple of men who struggle with something like porn agree to be accountable to each other, sometimes they are lucky enough to have a leader. But in time, that accountability breaks down. We have all been there.
Q: How have you seen accountability break down?
Q: Why do you think accountability has a hard time helping people experience lasting change?
Q: What is good about accountability?
Accountability
Accountability, while built on great biblical principles is broken in many ways. This is the idea where two or more people make themselves “accountable” to tell someone when they have gone inner circle. The idea is through that accountability questions can be asked and healing can begin.
Some problems with accountability:
It creates an environment where the person with the issue is constantly faced with lying or telling the truth. Many times we choose to lie or minimize the truth when we share. In the very moment of “Well John, it’s your turn, did you go inner circle this week?” In this situation, all of us struggle to tell the truth or if we do, minimize it. Evil whispers to us, “you are the only one that goes inner circle this much in this horrible way. You shared last week, just let this week slide.”
If too much time passes between going inner circle and the moment of accountability, it’s easy to forget the details of why you went inner circle. When we forget details and story, we begin to loose insight into “why”. We all need to help each other become better at asking Evil questions. And we can’t do this without learning about each other’s addictive cycles.
Shame is one of the biggest enemies of curiosity and change. Standard accountability can increase your fight against shame and lead to going inner circle more often. This leads to increased Despair, which, as we know from the Addictive Cycle, sets us up for Preoccupation at the start of the Addictive Cycle.
LifeLines
LifeLines are meant to meet you where are are, in real time, in the Cycle of Addiction. When you are in the Cycle of Addiction - this is the “Address It” in N.N.A.I.A.
We are going to learn how to text each other IN THE VERY MOMENT of our struggle. We are all going to become better listeners to each other and most of all, learning how to invite Jesus into that moment.
Jesus is already there in your pain. We just ignore Him. LifeLines are turning to your fellow climbers on this hard journey of life and saying, “I’m having a hard day and I need help.”
This is where we will all learn how to help each other climb and point each other to Jesus.
How LifeLines Work:
Learning to Locate Yourself In Real Time
Right in the middle of your struggle of N.N.A.I.A. you ask for help. We invite your climbers into your pain with Jesus and invite the Gospel into your life. You don’t wait for a “check-in” where you are tempted to lie, you ask for help in the very moment of struggle and pain.Learning to Ask for Help In Real Time
The purpose is to stop in the Cycle of Addiction and to reach out for help in real time. To give the Holy Spirit, your fellow climbers and your Sherpa space to help you be curious about why Evil feels more comfortable than the Light.Learning to Ask Questions to Evil, with Jesus by your side, In Real Time
To give yourself space to ask questions and face evil in real time. To get help in real time. Curiosity is one of the hardest parts of this journey. But learning how to ask questions will teach you about yourself, Evil and Jesus.Learning How to Pray In Real Time
After we ask questions, we learn now to slow down and pray, slowly inviting lasting change into our lives.
“No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted[d] beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”
Are you ready to start sending LifeLines?
Discuss:
What makes you nervous about LifeLines?
What makes you excited about LifeLines?
Is there anything that confuses you about LifeLines that we can help clear up?
Are you ready to start sending LifeLines?
2.2.2
Sending Our First LifeLines
To Break the Addictive Cycle, We Need To Understand Evil’s Lies.
Evil traps us with two lies:
The first lie he tells us that going inner circle isn’t a big deal and that God will forgive us anyway. He confuses us in Preoccupation and in that confusion we don’t listen to Jesus, we follow the voice of Evil and go inner circle. We will face this later on in the Climb.
The second lie is way more powerful. Evil attacks our very identity. After we go inner circle, a quiet or loud voice says to us, “Look at you. You are worthless. You can never change. No one can know the real depth of how horrible you are. Go to church, but just realize, you will never “be Holy as God is Holy.” You fall short to God and everyone you love.
Sending Your First LifeLine: Stopping Despair
Your first LifeLines are going to be sent RIGHT AFTER you choose to go Inner Circle. We are going to N.N.A.I.A. right after we Act Out and go Inner Circle. As soon as we Act Out, the voice of Evil is quick and clear: You are worthless and God is ashamed of you.
We are going to learn how to invite Jesus and your other climbers into your life to stop Despair.
Here is how this is going to work:
IMMEDIATELY AFTER ACTING OUT, send a LifeLine to your climbers and confess. This needs to be quick, quick enough to cut off the voice of Evil. With your pants around your ankles, we are going to reach out to each other and Jesus. We are going to experience forgiveness together.
FACE Evil and ask questions about why we went inner circle.
What was evil telling/offering you? Did it work?
What do you feel evil wants to tell you now you went Inner Circle?
TURN to Jesus and His love for you. We are going to remind each other:
You are far worse than you ever knew
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. - Colossians 3: 5-6You are far more loved than you ever imagined
I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. - Galatians 2:20
PRAY with your climbers and Jesus, in a full written out text/prayer repenting of what you just did, acknowledging Jesus’ forgiveness for you and embracing His love for you. Most people find texting prayers really uncomfortable. Why do we text our prayers? There are a couple of reasons.
We all need to know that you actually prayed. Most of us say we pray and we really don’t.
We want to see what each other prays. Are you praying in a way that repents and builds your identity in Jesus? Or are your prayers groveling and lack grace? Do your prayers include grace and ignore the truth of what just happened?
We all want to pray with you!
“And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
2.2.3
Your First Prayer Card
Stoping Despair Prayer Card, Sending a LifeLine After Acting out
Learning to pray is one of the most key lessons on this journey. Prayer, on this climb, becomes more and more important. This is your first Prayer Card. It’s a simple 3x5 card I want you to fill out. Have it near your bed or in your car. Have it close to you. After you go Inner Circle, or listen to Evil in a way you know is wrong, stop Despair, and break the cycle by pulling out this card and ask Jesus and all your climbers to enter this moment with you.
Front of Card
| Jesus, Forgive Me I Have Sinned |
|---|
| Today I listend to Evil and I confess I went Inner Circle. |
| Evil offered me __________. Evil feels strongest to me when ___________. |
| Jesus sees me, loves me and forgiveness me. I am God's son. He loves me. Jesus is pleased with me. Jesus wants me free from Sin and to follow Him as the Good Master. Jesus wants me to have a heart that hates this sin in my life but not hate myself. |
| Jesus, hear my prayer: Jesus, today, instead of hanging my head in shame, I stand up tall, seen by you, fulled loved and fully forgiven. There is nothing I can do to make you love me more and there is nothing I can do to make you love me less. Thank you for dying for my sins and rising from the dead giving me hope for change! Give me a new heart that loves you and hates this sin. |
Back of Card
| Luke 3: 22b • Colossians 1: 13-14 • PS 139 7-10 |
|---|
| And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” |
| God rescued us from dead-end alleys and dark dungeons. He’s set us up in the kingdom of the Son he loves so much, the Son who got us out of the pit we were in, got rid of the sins we were doomed to keep repeating. |
| Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the Sheol, you are there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. |
In Summary After You Go Inner Circle to Stop Despair:
FACE Evil and ask questions about why we went inner circle. What was evil telling/offering you? Did it work? What do you feel evil wants to tell you now you went Inner Circle?
TURN to Jesus and His love for you. We are going to remind each other: You are far worse than you ever knew, and you are far more loved than you ever imagined through Jesus Christ.
PRAY with your climbers and Jesus, in a full written out text/prayer repenting of what you just did, acknowledging Jesus’ forgiveness for you and embracing His love for you.
Discuss:
What part of this first LifeLine is going to be hard for you?
Do you feel you understand why we want to turn, face evil and ask questions?
Are you ready to face Jesus in that moment and His unending love for you?
Are you ready to text out a prayer or repentance and acceptance of Jesus’ love for you??
2.2.4
Why is it so Hard to Reach Out For Help After Acting Out?
What happens to us automatically after we act out?
In order to stop Despair, we need to understand what is happening to us.
The feeling of Shame is something we are all so familiar with, that like an unwelcome roommate, we have learned how to live with it. It’s time for us to slow down and notice the feeling of Shame in our lives, how Evil uses it and how Jesus wants to use it to call us to Himself.
The first current that keeps the Addictive Cycle going round and round is the formula: Shame -> Contempt -> Punish.
First We Feel Shame
Shame is a complicated feeling, but one that we all know well. We have been shamed by our actions, we have been shamed by others and Evil tries to shame us all the time.
The first time the word “shame” appears in the Bible is at the very end of Genesis 2. Genesis 1 and 2 are both beautiful chapters and our only glimpse of how God intended the world to be. God ends both of these chapters with one beautiful sentence: “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
No Shame.
God tells us what wasn’t in the garden: Shame.
Shame only enters the story in Genesis 3 when sin comes into our world and breaks everything. Adam’s response to God looking for him after he ate the apple was, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” Adam heard God, felt shame because he was naked, and hid from God.
Shame is what we feel when something wrong has happened. Something wrong that we did. Something wrong that was done to us. Shame is so quick to move into our hearts that it’s hard to slow down and see it.
Shame is like being caught naked in the Walmart parking lot: you are totally exposed, horrified and want to do anything to make the feeling go away.
Discuss:
Do you recognize shame in your life? How?
What do you normally do when you feel shame?
Shame Leads us to Contempt
Contempt is what comes immediately after Shame.
Question: If you were naked in the Walmart parking lot (feeling shame) what is the first thing you would do to protect yourself?
Answer: We would run for cover! We would find the closest object to us to hide behind: a bush, a car . . . anything to cover us!
Contempt is just like that. After we feel shame, contempt is the closest thing to help us cover our shame. We can rage against ourselves (“Why am I so stupid?”) or we can rage against someone else (“I wouldn’t have done this if she didn’t make me!”). Instead of facing our reason for feeling Shame, we use Contempt as a way to quickly cover ourselves.
Discuss:
Do you recognize contempt in your life after you feel shame? How?
What does contempt look like in your life after you feel shame?
Contempt Leads us to Punish
After we feel shame, we run to contempt and contempt isn’t satisfied until someone is punished. If your contempt was against yourself, then you punish yourself. If your contempt was against someone else, well, then they are punished.
Maybe you punish yourself by forcing yourself to read the Bible. Maybe you punish yourself by shutting down and shutting out others. For me, I punished myself by pulling away from others and backing off of church. Why would the church want an ugly sinner like me?
Maybe you punish others for doing this to you. Maybe you feel you went inner circle because your friends ignored you, so you punish them by cutting them off. Maybe you feel ignored by your wife, so you shun her.
When shame is unaddressed, it leads to contempt, and contempt makes us punish ourselves or someone else. This is how we try and heal ourselves after we go inner circle.
Discuss:
Do you recognize how you punish yourself or others?
What does self or other punishing look like in your life?
We don’t confess because we are stuck on the Shame and Honor Path
Inner Circle pulls us into Shame
Life is constantly pulling us down, away from pleasure and into pain. Being single and longing for a companion. Being married and feeling ignored by your spouse. Being at work and feeling overlooked. Working hard at school yet falling behind. We all want to feel good . . . but life, it seems, is built to bring us down.
We want others to see us with honor, so we fight our way back up
Each of us, when we feel pain, search for ways to pull ourselves into pleasure and away from pain. After a long week, we love a Friday night party or a weekend getaway. After a stressful day, we want a big meal. All of us look to get away from pain and move toward pleasure. Inner Circle helps us to get away from pain and run towards pleasure.
Discuss:
How do you see Inner Circle in your life as response to pain? What stories can you think of?
Do do you see Inner Circle in your life as a way to run towards pleasure? Why?
What are some lies you tell yourself on the Shame and Honor Path?
Each of us listen’s to the pull of Evil when we feel shame. Evil convinces us that the fastest way out of shame is to follow the honor path towards not confessing after we mess up. What lies have you told yourself when you are running from shame and towards honor?
“If I confess, they will know how bad this is for me. They will see that I’m not changing.”
“It had been six months since I went inner circle. I can’t believe I fell. This week was so hard... I’m leading this group. There is no way I can confess that I went inner circle. I know what I need to do. It won’t happen again.”
“I already confessed 2 times this week. If I confess again they won’t think I’m even trying. I already confessed before, so I think this one can just slide...”
“I can’t tell my climbers. I just can’t. They struggle to respect me now. If I confess, it will only make me look even worse with them.”
“This just happened once. It won’t happen again. I can keep this one quiet.”
Discuss:
Do you relate to any of these lies?
What lies have you told yourself when you are running from shame and towards honor?
2.2.5
Noticing Shame, Contempt and Punishment in our Lives
The Role of Shame As We Fight Going Inner Circle
Shame first appears in the Bible in Genesis Chapter 2, the last verse before the fall of the world in Chapter 3. Adam and Eve are living in the Created World in all of it’s glory with no sin. This is how the Bible describes them in verse 25: “Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”
No shame.
God goes out of His way to tell us what wasn’t in the world as he wanted it: shame. A world without regret. Without pain. Without distance. Shame is something that didn’t exist in the garden of eden.
The Bible also uses sexuality to help us understand the lack of shame: “Adam and his wife were both naked” - they were naked, fully exposed with nothing to hide. Two people completely comfortable being seen fully as they are.
Then in chapter 3, vs 7 shame enters: “Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.”
Shame is now a part of the human condition. As a result of sin, shame is now a tool for us to see that something is wrong, something is not as God intended it to be.
Shame is like a smoke alarm: it goes off to tell us there is a fire that needs to be investigated.
What Broke in Genesis Chapter 3?
When shame comes Adam and Eve experience a ripple effect, like throwing a rock into a pond, shame and our separation from God spreads:
What Path Does Shame Automatically Take?
Genesis 3: 6-7
When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.
Genesis 3: 21-24
The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them. And the Lord God said, “The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.” So the Lord God banished him from the Garden of Eden to work the ground from which he had been taken. After he drove the man out, he placed on the east side of the Garden of Eden cherubim and a flaming sword flashing back and forth to guard the way to the tree of life.
the Repentance J-Curve
2.2.6
why is it so hard to send a lifeLine after going Inner Circle?
After Inner Circle, our natural response is to hide. Why?
Remember, after we go inner circle, does dying to ourselves and going into a J-Curve come naturally?
NO!
After Inner Circle, we feel Shame in in that Shame we RAGE against ourselves (I’m so stupid!) or others (this is my wife’s fault for hating sex!).
When we listen to Evil and go Inner Circle, we don’t confess because we want the other men in the group to see us with Honor.
We want life to pull us up into honor: Raises, praise, compliments, people who look up to us for advice, winning . . .
But Life pulls us down into Shame. People ignore us. We loose. People don’t see us. We aren’t valued. Our wives don’t see our needs.
We fight to climb into honor. Life pulls us down into shame.
And when we go inner circle, sending a LifeLine right after exposes our shame and shows everyone in the group why we shouldn’t be honored.
The Repentance J-Curve
“I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.”
Read this verse slowly and let it sink in: Knowing Christ, Knowing the power of change, participating with Christ, following Jesus into death and the beautiful mystery of the resurrection!
There is more in this single verse than any of us can unpack in a lifetime.
So let’s apply it.
After you go Inner Circle, it’s time to follow Jesus into the Repentance J-Curve: Evil has been allowed into your heart and this is how we confess and turn from Evil, turn towards Jesus and hear the words of Jesus Christ define us as His pride and joy.
When you inner circle, allow yourself to slow down and N.N.A.I.A. Each of the steps of N.N.A.I.A. will be a death. This is hard, but this is beautiful. This is you becoming like Jesus!
Send that text to your Climbers:
FACE Evil and ask questions about why we went inner circle. What was evil telling/offering you? Did it work? What do you feel evil wants to tell you now you went Inner Circle?
TURN to Jesus and His love for you. We are going to remind each other: You are far worse than you ever knew, and you are far more loved than you ever imagined through Jesus Christ.
PRAY with your climbers and Jesus, in a full written out text/prayer repenting of what you just did, acknowledging Jesus’ forgiveness for you and embracing His love for you.
Stand up as a forgiven man, confident in the Cross: Your sins are washed away. You are seen by God, loved by God and forgiven. We remind each other of PS 139: God made you, loves you and put you here in this space and time to do great things. Evil wants to destroy those things, but in Jesus’ Resurrection Power, Evil is crushed and you stand tall. You are a new man. You stand tall, forgiven, with your foot on the neck of evil.
2.2.7
How is “The Repentance J-Curve” Going?
“I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.”
How are you doing at sending LifeLine’s and following “The Repentance J-Curve?
After you go Inner Circle are you:
FACE Evil and ask questions about why we went inner circle. What was evil telling/offering you? Did it work? What do you feel evil wants to tell you now you went Inner Circle?
TURN to Jesus and His love for you. We are going to remind each other: You are far worse than you ever knew, and you are far more loved than you ever imagined through Jesus Christ.
PRAY with your climbers and Jesus, in a full written out text/prayer repenting of what you just did, acknowledging Jesus’ forgiveness for you and embracing His love for you.
Discuss:
Are you sending LifeLines EACH time after you act out?
If you are NOT sending LifeLines after each time acting out, why?
If you ARE sending Lifelines after each time acting out, what are you learning about yourself? What are you learning about how Jesus sees you?
What are you learning about Facing Evil and what Evil is trying to whisper to you? Have you seen any patterns?
How are you at Turning to Jesus and seeing His love for you?
How are you doing at Praying, through text, and asking for forgiveness? Is it natural? Awkward? Why?
Following Jesus Into “the Repentance J-Curve” Teaches Psalm 139 to us
“Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?”
When living out the Repentance J-Curve, this is us following Jesus into death because of something we have done. There is an evil inside of us that Jesus is calling us to die to. That death is called the Repentance J-Curve.
It’s a death of our dignity. It’s a death of our honor. People we send out LifeLines to will see how messed up we are and how much help we need. Most importantly, it’s a death of how we see ourselves. We spend so much time and energy in making people see us as “ok” or “Godly men” that really on the inside we are struggling deeply.
We spend so much energy on hiding that we forget that Jesus is right next to us all the time. He sees our whole story and wants to help us become Godly men, living full healthy lives.
Discuss
What does it feel like to know that after you go Inner Circle, that Jesus is right there, right next to you? Does that make the Repentance J-Curve easier or harder? Why?
What does it feel like that no matter where you go, what you look at or what you do, Jesus is next to you?
Do you feel that Jesus is pursuing you because He loves you, or because He’s ashamed of you? Why?
“If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.”
If you have a great day, we can feel the presence of God and not feel the need to go Inner Circle. But the days we are in the depths, those are the hard days.
It could be your family. Your friends. Your job. There are so many thorns in our lives that lead us into the depths.
The heavens are bright, fresh and freeing. I feel this way when I’m at the beach: the endless water, the sound of the waves, the smell of the salt water in my lungs. It’s easy for me to relax my mind when I’m looking at the ocean.
The depths are just the opposite. Dark. Cold. Directionless. When I can’t see anything, my mind goes into a state of confusion and I start to unravel. Evil loves to usher in confusion. We can’t think straight. We aren’t making good choices. We start to unravel and one bad choice leads to another.
The Hebrew word in this verse for “depths” is actually a word called “Sheol”. This word is a dark word, even used to describe Hell. It’s a place of hollow. It’s a place where the dead go. When we go Inner Circle, we go into Sheol.
This verse takes it deeper though. We didn’t just visit Sheol. What did we do? We made our bed there.
When I was looking at porn, I would fight against it. This is darkness for sure. But I would say to myself, “I did it once, I might as well enjoy it while I’m here.” And I would binge so much that my penis would bleed. I made my bed in Hell.
But Jesus is there. In Hell. With me. Because He loves me. Because He sees me. Because I’m His adopted son.
Discuss
What does it feel like when you go into Sheol?
What does it look like when you make your bed in Sheol?
What does it feel like to know that Jesus is there with you in Sheol? What do you feel Jesus is thinking? What does Jesus see when He looks at you?
“If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, ”
Rising on the “Wings of Dawn” is a beautiful image of waking up on “the right side of the bed.” When you rise on the wings of dawn, these are days you get out of bed, happy and ready to conquer the world.
When I was a kid, and even now, Christmas morning is easy to “rise on the wings of dawn.” Whether I’m getting a gift or giving a gift, I love the energy and festivity of Christmas. When I wake up the morning of a vacation, and I know I can be laid back, relax and have fun. This is waking up on the wings of dawn. I love going to the Jersey Shore for vacation. I could wake up at 5:30 for some coffee and feel rested and happy for the day of rest ahead of me… rising on the wings of dawn come easy on these days.
But there are days where I wake up lost, overwhelmed, lost in work, lost in so many tasks that have fallen behind, that I feel myself lost at sea the moment I wake up.
In the Bible, “the Sea” isn’t a place of joy and rest. It’s a symbol of chaos, loss and fear. Seas weren’t mapped and weather patterns weren’t known. People that went to the seas risked it all, and many times never came home. Seas are places of hardship, confusion and loss.
There are two words that describe how we all react in “sea” times.
The first word here is “settle”. Instead of waking up, sending a LifeLine and getting help, we all tend to go into Seas alone. And when we go alone, we can easily get lost, confusion sets in and we don’t know how to get out. So we settle down there and surrender to the sea.
The second phrase here is “far side” and describes a massive distance between us and a calm life. Instead of being close to God, like Jonah, we tend to get as far from Him as possible. We aren’t just settled in the sea, we are on the far side of it.
Hiding, Evil tells us, is where we will be safe.
Discuss
What makes you “rise on the wings of dawn”?
What Seas (places of hardship, loss and confusion) do you face in life?
How do you see yourself settle in the sea?
How do you see yourself run away to the far side?
How will The Repentance J-Curve help you here?
“Even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.”
One of the hardest things I had to learn on this journey is that God sees me, God loves me and that God will do anything to get me back home.
Jesus, fully God and fully human, comes to us. He is the one who pursues us.
Jesus finds us in Sheol.
Jesus finds us in The Seas.
He finds us because He loves us. Jesus loves YOU so much, he goes to Hell to get you. He went to Hell on the Cross to save you. But each time we go to Hell on our own, he follows us still. Again. And Again.
And He doesn’t just find us, He’s there with His hand out to guide us out. We have to want to take His hand, but He is there to hold us by the hand and get out of the darkness.
How do we get to the top of Mt Everest? How will lasting change really happen? It’s through Jesus!
His hand will guide you.
His hand will hold you fast.
He is doing it because He created you, loves you, and has a plan for your life.
Discuss
How does it feel that Jesus goes into Sheol and The Seas after us?
Are you comfortable with the thought that Jesus created you, loves you and has a plan for you?
Do you trust that Jesus will help you change?
“If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,””
When you feel seen, and you are ashamed, what do we all do? Jesus is there, in Sheol with you. He is in the seas with you.
But you are the one who went to Sheol, again.
You are the one who settled on the far side of the seas, again.
What do we all do when we see Jesus come after us? We hide. Just like Adam and Eve.
We want the covers over our shame, our naked bodies. We want darkness to cover us. Anyone with a light, we want to turn it off.
Discuss
Instead of sending LifeLines, how have you hid in the darkness?
How did hiding work out for you?
How have you turned from light (anything we have learned so far on this journey) and turned to darkness? How have you seen yourself hesitate to follow through with something? How have you seen yourself turning “the light off’?
“Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.”
Here is the great part of these verses: “Even the darkness will not be dark to you.”
We all hide in the darkness when we feel confused and overwhelmed by our brokenness.
But with Jesus, even the dark isn’t dark. The darkness is a place where Jesus turns on the light, and we can finally start to see. We can see and ask questions:
Why am I here?
How did I allow myself to get here?
Why do I stay?
How can I leave?
If I leave, what will happen to me?
What has evil done to me?
Every single question we have, Jesus has a light. Where we have shame, He has a light.
The night will shine like day, for darkness is a light to you.
What once put you in prison, will be how God frees you.
One time a man who I was helping came to me with something to share. It needed to be at my house, in a closed room, with no one home and the sound machine on.
As he came in, his head was low. He started to share his story about transgender porn as the only way he could be turned on, and he wasn’t able to look me in the eye. He was so ashamed, he would have felt more comfortable with a paper bag over his head.
He came to me, because he was in a Climb29 group. He came to open up, because we talked about not hiding in the darkness, but with Jesus by our side, having the courage to turn on the light and ask questions.
That was the start of a two year journey where this man started to have the courage, commitment and curiosity to start asking questions where the light was allowed to be turned on. At first he was full of shame. But he began to see Jesus love him no matter what. Through time, we learned about his story of bullying, abuse and naming that distorted his self view and his sexuality.
Evil, through darkness, confused him so much. And Jesus, through the light, freed him.
He now openly shares his former porn of choice with other men, as a freed man, who lives in the light with Jesus.
Discuss
What does it feel like that our darkness isn’t dark to Jesus?
What steps do you think you need to take to allow Jesus into your darkness?
2.2.8
How are you doing sending LifeLines after going Inner Circle?
At this point of the journey the task is simple, but hard: RIGHT after we go inner circle, before evil has time to bring in despair, we are learning to send a LifeLine. Each LifeLine, right after InnerCircle, we are challeged to do three things:
FACE Evil and ask questions about why we went inner circle. What was evil telling/offering you? Did it work? What do you feel evil wants to tell you now you went Inner Circle?
TURN to Jesus and His love for you. We are going to remind each other: You are far worse than you ever knew, and you are far more loved than you ever imagined through Jesus Christ.
PRAY with your climbers and Jesus, in a full written out text/prayer repenting of what you just did, acknowledging Jesus’ forgiveness for you and embracing His love for you.
But we don’t always do this do we? What is stopping us from something that sounds so simple as repenting and confessing to each InnerCircle?
What kind of climber are you?
2.2.9
The fake Climber
The fake climber is the person who isn’t letting us see the real you, all the time. There might be moments of honesty, but you choose when to be honest or not. The fake climber says one thing, but in secret is doing another. Let’s pause here for a moment and think about what this is like. And let’s all be humble and admit: everyone on this journey struggles against being the fake climber. Each of us have hid in shame, afraid of change and being seen for so long, being fake is a lot easier than telling the truth and being seen.
What Would it be like climbing the real Mt Everest tied to this person?
Discuss:
What is it like climbing Mt. Everest (the real mountain) with someone who says they are experienced, but really, they aren’t?
What could happen as a result of that?
What is it like for the other climbers?
What is it like to be this climber?
What pressures does the fake climber face?
Is he able to become a good climber?
What is is like being in Climb29 tied to this person?
Discuss:
What is it like being in Climb29 with someone who says they are ok, but really, they aren’t?
What could happen as a result of that?
What is it like for the other climbers?
What is it like to be this climber?
What pressures does the fake climber face?
Is he able to become a good climber? Can change happen?
Consequences of being a Fake Climber:
My old neural pathways stay in use
My addiction to dopamine stays
My knee-jerk response run/hide from sin goes unchanged
My actual needs are never addressed but remain hidden
I am trapped in my own private prison
My Internal and external self remain in conflict
I experience despair and self contempt which set me up for the next addictive cycle
I will fail in the climb
“When faced with needed radical change we either change our actions to match our beliefs or we change our beliefs to match our actions so we can live with ourselves.”
2.2.10
The Broken Climber
The Broken Climber is someone who is afraid because they haven’t climbed before, but they aren’t hiding. They are telling the group the struggles they are having. They call out when they are nervous, afraid and hopeless. The broken climber is honest with the group at all costs, because he wants to learn and grow.
What Would it be like climbing the real Mt Everest tied to this person?
Discuss:
What is it like climbing Mt. Everest (the real mountain) with someone who says they are inexperienced and afraid?
What could happen as a result of that? How is the climb LESS dangerous because this person is honest?
What is it like for the other climbers?
What is it like to be this climber?
What pressures does the broken climber face?
Is he able to become a good climber? Why?
What is is like being in Climb29 tied to this person?
Discuss:
What is it like being in Climb29 with someone is honest and open?
What could happen as a result of that?
What is it like for the other climbers?
What is it like to be this climber?
What pressures does the fake climber face?
Is he able to become a good climber? Can change happen?
Rewards of being a Broken Climber:
My honesty allows my real needs and struggles to be investigated
New healthy neural pathways can be created
I can now be curious about what is really going on inside me
I have the ability to create space to investigate where I’m going
I can start the authentic journey of becoming like Jesus in all areas of my life
If I can face this, I can face anything
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
2.2.11
Jesus loves a Broken Climber & calls out the Fake Climber
“To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’
“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’
“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Discuss:
What is a Pharisee? Why did Jesus use this kind of person as an example? How do you think others who were hearing Jesus thought about Pharisees?
Can the Pharisee change? Why not?
What is a Tax Collector? Why did Jesus use this kind of person as an example? How do you think others who were hearing Jesus thought about Tax Collectors?
Can the Tax Collector change? Why?
Who does Jesus exalt? Why?
Which one are you?
This week:
After InnerCircle, each time:
FACE Evil and ask questions about why we went inner circle. What was evil telling/offering you? Did it work? What do you feel evil wants to tell you now you went Inner Circle?
TURN to Jesus and His love for you. We are going to remind each other: You are far worse than you ever knew, and you are far more loved than you ever imagined through Jesus Christ.
PRAY with your climbers and Jesus, in a full written out text/prayer repenting of what you just did, acknowledging Jesus’ forgiveness for you and embracing His love for you.