Garden Living•26,246ft

“Put aside the ranger. Become who you were born to be.”

- Elrond to Aragorn in The Return of the King

They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17: 8

Powerlessness Theme.

This isn’t just a minor theme in Jesus’ life. He shows a remarkable dependence on his heavenly Father. Notice that on the one hand Jesus is confident and bold with people, yet when he talks about his heavenly Father he is childlike and dependent.

Childlike Theme.

Notice the childlike tone of Jesus’ comment. Once when the disciples were arguing in Matthew 18:1-3, Jesus said they needed to be like little children. So Jesus both tells us to be like little children and models for us what it means to be a little child.

Faith.

What we’re seeing here is a description of Jesus’ faith. We think of Jesus as a model for love but not for faith. But Jesus models what faith feels and looks like! Faith feels like weakness with regard to ourselves.

Listen to these other comments of Jesus:

John 6:38. “For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.”
John 7:28 “I am not here on my own, but he who sent me is true. You do not know him, but I know because I am from him and he sent me.”
John 8:28 “When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know who I am and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me.”

In other words, this isn’t just a throwaway comment from Jesus. This describes Jesus’ whole life. Dependence—that is, faith—shapes and empowers honesty and compassion. The opposite is also true. Self-will twists and distorts our honesty and our compassion.

Jesus Says “No” To His Brothers

Read John 7 :1-9 — The Feast of Tabernacles

After this Jesus went about in Galilee. He would not go about in Judea, because the Jews were seeking to kill him. Now the Jews' Feast of Booths was at hand. So his brothers said to him, “Leave here and go to Judea, that your disciples also may see the works you are doing. For no one works in secret if he seeks to be known openly. If you do these things, show yourself to the world.” For not even his brothers believed in him. Jesus said to them, “My time has not yet come, but your time is always here. The world cannot hate you, but it hates me because I testify about it that its works are evil. You go up to the feast. I am not going up to this feast, for my time has not yet fully come.” After saying this, he remained in Galilee.

Historical Background The Feast of Tabernacles

The feast that the brothers are talking about is the Feast of Tabernacles. There were three great feasts in Israel: Passover, Pentecost, and Tabernacles. During the three feasts the population of Jerusalem would swell to as much as a million according to Josephus (although most scholars question this high num-ber). This would certainly have been the largest concentration of Jews anywhere in the world. The Feast of Tabernacles, or Booths, was the greatest of the three feasts. It was celebrated to commemorate the Israelites’ deliverance from Egypt and wanderings in the desert. The Jews would make little booths or “tabernacles” and live in them for seven days. Stricter Orthodox Jews still practice this today.

They want Jesus to be famous.
Jesus’ brothers were giving him a lesson in basic marketing. Being in the spotlight at the feast would have been the first-century equivalent of getting the opportunity to go on Larry King Live. Jesus could greatly expand his market share by showing off his miracles.
They assume he wants to be a public figure.
Because that’s what most people want. Everyone else wants to be famous, to receive the cheers of the crowds.
Those aren’t Jesus’ goals. He’s not motivated by the lust for fame.
Glory, fame for themselves.

If Jesus becomes famous, his brothers might get some cushy jobs in the administration: head of the turnpike commission, for example. The state of New Jersey, in addition to the Department of Transportation, has a separate commission for the Atlantic City Expressway and another for the Garden State Parkway, each with its own highly paid commissioner. Why? The governor gives the jobs as rewards to his political cronies.

Historical Background Shame/Honor Culture

This natural tendency of the human heart is further reinforced by the shame/honor culture of the Ancient Near East, in which one’s identity was intertwined with one’s family. Individuals had no separate identity apart from family. Every social transaction accrued either honor or shame on the family. Honor has always been in short supply. If Jesus became famous, then his brothers would get free honor for themselves.

These are all “no-name” places.

Historical Background Backwater Towns

The places that Jesus goes—such as Bethsaida, Nain, Nazareth, and Capernaum—are backwater towns. The biggest cities in Galilee, Tiberius and Sepphoris, aren’t even mentioned.1 He’s clearly avoiding the limelight.

He says, “My time has not yet come.”

Jesus and Time

Time in the Gospel of John. John, in particular, records Jesus’ usage of this phrase. According to John, Jesus’ time is shaped and controlled by his heavenly Father. He does nothing on his own. All through the book of John, in almost every chapter, a clock is ticking. The clock stops at Jesus’ death when Jesus says, “It is finished.” The time when Jesus is on the cross—not some man-centered seeking of fame—is his time of glory.

Since they aren’t submitting to God’s will, any time becomes “right” for them. They appear to be completely free.

Jesus is Controlled

It’s amazing to see Jesus’ response to his brothers’ Marketing 101 strategy. Jesus is the most controlled person who ever lived. While all of us hate anything that smacks of control, Jesus couldn’t imagine life without it. In fact, he doesn’t “do life” unless he’s completely in tune with his Father.

They’re in bondage to their own lusts, their own desire for fame and glory.
He’s freed from the opinions of other people. So he’s free to say “no” to others.
As ignoring his family, disrespecting or bringing shame on his family.

Bondage

We have seen this Truth on Climb29. We see it most clearly walking away from Inner Circle forever. Paul the Apostle tells us that the person who sins is a slave to sin (Romans 6:20ff). We have all felt this bondage and why we fought so hard to break it.

The Praise of Men

John 5: 41-42
I do not receive glory from people. 42 But I know that you do not have the love of God within you.
John 5: 44
How can you believe, when you receive glory from one another and do not seek the glory that comes from the only God?

Jesus doesn’t live for (or care about) the praises of people.
Jesus has the love of God in his heart. He knows God loves him.
If we have God’s approval, then we don’t need the approval of other people.
Look at John 5:19 again.
Jesus is helpless only under certain conditions. Jesus would be helpless only if he were on his own.
It would destroy love. His miracles would be manipulations for power.
We’re constantly told not to be helpless, but to find power in ourselves. Jesus has no power in himself.
Could this be why our world is so powerless now? Could this be why our world has lost its way?

A Self-Will Story

Bob takes out the trash each week, but he forgot to do it last week, and then again this week. He’s usually good about taking out the trash, but Sue tells him, “Honey, you forgot to take out the trash again.” She says the word “again” with emphasis and a little irritation. This is a small, insignificant story, but most of our lives are lived in small moments like this. As with any story, there are two sides to it, but for the sake of this discus-sion, let’s focus on Sue.

She wants to make sure he doesn’t forget.
Underlining his failure—that is, shaming him—might keep him from forgetting.
God.

Her Frame of Mind

Her frame of mind is, “If I don’t say ‘again,’ then he’ll keep forgetting. If I don’t show him this is becoming a pattern, I’ll be doing the trash regularly.” Notice the underlying assumption: “It all depends on me. If I don’t show him, no one else will.” God is completely absent from her thinking. In the absence of God’s active intervention, she believes her husband must hear her words; otherwise it feels like she’ll be swallowed up by her husband’s forgetfulness. She speaks on her own, using the word ‘again’ to control her husband.

Self-will is like a skunk in the basement of a beautiful house. No matter how beautiful the living room, or how fun the party, the smell permeates the whole house.

It’s fun to show someone else his sin. We look better because we weren’t bad, but the other person was.
Saying the word “again” makes us feel good. It provides a foundation and security for our lives.
Herself.

“For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it.”

— John 12:49

It’s the exact opposite of “I do nothing on my own.” She’s using her words to achieve her will and make herself look good.
It would shame him. It would anger him if shaming him were to become a pattern.
Either change the tone of the word “again” or drop it.
Do some “beam research”—first asking herself if she had forgotten anything lately.
Quietly take out the trash on her own, without saying anything. This kind of silent love is always noticed by God.
Quietly forbear. Love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs.
None of this means that she couldn’t talk to her husband if his forgetfulness were to become a pattern.
Share with the Climbers

In closing . . .

Sherpa, write the answers everyone has said on a board for everyone to see and share.
Sherpa, write everyone’s answers down.
Sherpa, write the answers down for everyone to see.

6.1

Living in Dependance

“I can’t do anything by myself. I can only do what I see my dad doing.”

Very trusting, and doesn’t have much confidence in himself.
Co-dependent.
Doesn’t have his own personality.
Probably young. It’s a very youthful, childlike way of speaking.

Read this and respond as a group

John 5:19
“I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”
John 5:30
“By myself I can do nothing…”

I’m Shocked!

We don’t think of Jesus as being helpless or not having power.

6.2

Reinforce a Life of Dependance:

Prayer

Resting in Truth

Let’s start today’s time differently. We are going be quiet, and pray silently before God. Let’s take some time and pray now.

Sherpa, write the answers everyone has said on a board for everyone to see and share.
It went slowly
Felt like a long time
A little too long without any warning
It was hard to stay focused
I ran out of things to pray for
Sherpa, write everyone’s answers down.
My head was wandering
It was hard to stay focused
I was ok for a little, but after a while, I started thinking of other things
Sometimes, when my head wanders and I’m quiet, bad thoughts can come.
Sherpa, write the answers down for everyone to see.
Why is this taking so long
What is the point?
I’m a little bored
It’s nice to be quiet

Sherpa, compare what everyone said at the end of last week with what we just shared.

Put last weeks answers on the left, and the answers from today on the right.

< Last weeks asnwers

This weeks asnwers >

Sherpa, write the answers everyone has said on a board for everyone to see and share.
There is a crazy disconnect
I love Him; yet I struggle talking to Him is nuts
It feels from this that I don’t know Him, but I know that I do.
Sherpa, write everyone’s answers down.
Something needs to change.
I know this isn’t how I feel, but when I pray (talk with Jesus) there is definitely a disconnect happening.

Learning to pray is the first step of living in Dependance

When I stopped going Inner Circle, and I knew it was behind me, one of my first feelings was, “How am I going to remember everything I learned? How is this going to stay with me? How am I going to stay in the place of freedom and victory?” I had a panic, a real panic, that I knew, on my own, it would be a matter of time until I lost sight of what Jesus taught me and I would hear the voice of evil again pulling me back into my old ways.

It was then I learned how to pray.

I learned through, A Praying Life, by Paul Miller, that without help and structure my desire to pray would fade because I didn’t know how to approach living in prayer without help. I needed tools.

I pray all the time now. But not because I’m some great Godly man, no way. I pray because I need it. It’s water and bread to me. I can’t image not having my prayer cards and my quiet time with Jesus as a safe place to vent, scream, mourn, ask, take notes, breath, listen, remember . . . my prayer cards mark an amazing journey in my life and the more I pray and document, I see the Hand of God in my life. My faith grows. My muscles against evil have continued to grow and mature after the climb, not get weaker.

God uses my prayer time in a way where I covet that time and protect it. I went from no prayer life, to after seeing Jesus work in me on the Climb, a need for a prayer life.

If daily prayer and submission to God isn’t a part of your life, it’s only a matter of time until Inner Circle is a part of your story again.

Praying Tool: Prayer Cards

Prayer cards are very simple. They help you keep focused while you pray. They are simple 3x5 cards that:

Each card has a topic (wife, a child, work, something you are stressed about, etc)
Each card is simple. Just write or bullet what it is you want to bring to Jesus
Each card can have a verse, or maybe you have a verse that strikes you that you want to read everyday and pray through.
When Jesus answers a prayer you have, take notes on your card. Highlight the answer and write a date next to it, documenting God’s work in your story
As your needs grow and change, make new cards, add cards, replace cards. This is your story.
Each morning, read the cards as your prayer time. Read your cards to God, praying through them. Go as slow or fast as you want. Somedays, I move through my cards quickly. Other days, I move through them slowly or in different parts.
I have to protect my time of prayer. I don’t care when you do it, but choose the time and protect it. Don’t move it around. I find moving prayer times around makes it harder to protect. I wake up 30 min earlier now than I normally would. I use that time to get coffee and pray. I love it.

Examples of Prayer Cards

My First Prayer Cards

This is my first ever prayer card. I wrote it when I was worried about keeping the progress and hard work that I did in my own Climb29. I thought about all the things I learned in Climb29 and wrote these main points of what hit me the hardest that I needed to keep in front to me to hear Jesus in my story. This card, 10 years later, is a daily blessing and a kick in Evil’s pants. It’s precious to me. I will reach out and send LifeLines all the time because this card.

This prayer card is my second. On the left I wrote what I learned about how Evil has used my story against me. On the right, is what I learned about embracing, believing and following Jesus’ story for me. Evil’s attack on me is so real, that this card is a critical daily read for me. It’s humbling to remember where I came from. It’s wonderful to walk away from it everyday.

This is my first verse that I wanted to pray through everyday. Instead of going Inner Circle and living for myself, I am controlled by the Spirit and out of the Spirit comes the miracle of Love, Joy, Peace . . . what gifts! I am reminded of the J-Curve and that my flesh, passions and desires all need to die on the J-Curve. I’m reminded to keep it up, keep in step, and keep climbing any mountain God has me conquer.

Working Through the Desert in Prayer Cards

There are two cards here, both are for my wife Pam. My sister Ashley had just died. My sister was an amazing follower of Jesus and at 42 to begged God to save her from Cancer, to keep her life, her marriage, and above all as a mom, she wanted to see her three amazing kids grow up ages 16, 14 and 11. Pam’s faith was crushed as a mom watching God not answer Ashley. When Ashley died, a part of all of us died. For Pam, she was rocked to the core. I knew I had no words for her because I didn’t have them for myself. So I wrote this card. Then, I took another card, blank, and I put it in faith behind the painful card. I told God I would write answers to the prayer on the blank card. In 6 months the first side was full. The next 6 months the back of that card was full. I don’t pray them anymore. God moved. God worked. And these cards are still daily cards where I hear God whisper, “I am here. I am listening. I am working.” They are sacred.

Here is a prayer card for a young girl in my life. Her life has been hard. You can see a crazy list here I bring to God each morning for her. And when God answers, I update the card. It’s a great example of unanswered prayers in progress mixed in with lots of amazing answers.

My First Climb29 Prayer Card

My next Climb29 Prayer Card

All of my Climb29 Prayer Cards!

Types of Prayer Cards

A guide from seeJesus.net

SAMPLE STACK OF CARDS: This is a suggested list only. Customize your set of cards for your burdens and your life.

4-10 Family Cards (one card for each person).
1-3 People Suffering Cards.
1 Friends Card.
1 Non-Christian Card.
1 My Church's Leadership (pastor, elders, etc).
1-3 My Small Group.
1 Missionary, Service Work.
1-3 World Issues, Things that burden me.
1 Co-Workers.
1-3 Work Cards (projects or problems at work).
3-4 Repentance Cards.
3-4 Hope Cards.

Verses for Prayer Cards to Help You Get Going

A guide from seeJesus.net

BLESSING

3 John 2

CHILDREN, OBEDIENCE

Ephesians 6:1

CHILDREN, PROMISES

Isaiah 38:19; 49:25; 59:21; 65:23

CHILDREN, LOST

Isaiah 43:6; 49:12; 60:4

COMFORT

Psalm 23

DELIGHT IN ANOTHER PERSON

Philippians 4;8
I Thessalonians 1:2
Il Timothy 1:4

DIRECTION

Isaiah 42:16; 45:3; 52:12

DIVORCED, LONELY

Isaiah 54:4

GUILT

Isaiah 40:2; 44:22
Psalm 103:12; 130:3,4

IMPOSSIBLE SITUATIONS

Isaiah 41:10
Habakkuk 3:17-19

FAITH

Matthew 17:19-21
Mark 9:22-24
Luke 22:32
John 20:27
Romans 4:19,20, 11:20, 12:2
II Corinthians 11:3
Hebrews 11:1,6

REPENTANCE: SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS

I Peter 3:18
Luke 10:29

REPENTANCE: SELF-WILL

Psalm 19:13
John 4:34, 5:19, 6:38, 7:6, 16,28,
8:28,42, 12:49,50

REPENTANCE: WAITING

Isaiah 30:1,15
Proverbs 14:8

REPENTANCE, WAITING IN SUFFERING

Psalm 37:7
Lamentations 3:19-26

REPENTANCE: WORRY

Matthew 6:25-34

STRESS

Matthew 11: 28-30
I Peter 5:7, 10-11

SPOUSE

Micah 6:8
I Peter 3:1-7
Ephesians 4:22-32

FORGIVENESS, FORBEARANCE

Romans 15:7
Ephesians 4:2
Colossians 3:12,13
I Peter 4:8

LOST, UNCONVERTED FRIENDS OR FAMILY

Isaiah 52:7, 10
Psalm 57:5

MARRIAGE

Isaiah 62:4

MONEY/FINANCE

Proverbs 3:9-10
Proverbs 6:6-8
Matthew 6:19-24
Mark 12:43-44
Luke 12:15
Romans 8:32
2 Corinthians 9:6-11

PASSION FOR GOD

Psalm 27:4, 37:4, 63:1

PROMISE, HOPE, MERCY

Isaiah 42:6,7, 45:2,3, 55:1
Habakkuk 3:2
Romans 8:37-39, 15:13

PROTECTION

Psalm 32:6, 7; 35; 91; 121
Isaiah 43:2

REPENTANCE: ANGER

Proverbs 12:16, 14:29, 15:18, 19:11, 20:3,
Ephesians 4:26,31,32

REPENTANCE: APPROVAL SEEKING

Galatians 1:10
John 5:41, 42, 44

SUFFERING

Psalm 34:18
Isaiah 40:30,31
Romans 5:3-5
I Peter 4:12,13; 5:10
Hebrews 10:36
James 1:2,3,12

SICKNESS & HEALING

Isaiah 61:1-3
Psalm 116

WEARY, BEAT DOWN

Isaiah 40:28-31

WORK

Ephesians 6:7,8
Colossians 3:17,22-24

WORK, WORKING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Daniel 4:37

Entering Your Father’s Story Through Prayer

Key Issue: Why doesn’t God answer my prayers?

I. STORY OF ISRAEL

Temple is destroyed.
Jerusalem is destroyed.
Walls are down.
Kingdom is gone.
King is gone.
Kingship is gone.
Deported.
Unbelievers brought in.
Glory has departed from Israel.

The Reality: Israel was in agony

Psalm 137:1, “By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion.”

The Reality: Return from captivity only made it worse.

Haggai said to Zerubbabel, “Who of you who is left saw the house in its former glory? How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you as nothing?” (2:3)

But there was Hope:

“In a little while I will once more shake the heavens and the earth, the sea and the dry land. I will shake all the nations, and the desired of the nations will come, and I will fill this house with glory…the glory of this present house will be greater than the glory of the former house” (2:7, 9).

This is precisely why there were so many first-century wouldbe Messiahs. The Jews believed that (1) their situation was unnatural and that (2) God would act on their behalf (3) in history. (N.T. Wright points out that critical scholars are just not in touch with the first-century data when they have a Jewish community creating a “spiritual” Jesus that has nothing to do with reality. They didn’t think in transcendental categories.)

II. HOPE vs REALITY Chart

What does the tension between hope and reality feel like?

It hurts.
You aren’t in control.
God’s word doesn’t equal the situation.
Promise of God almost makes it worse.
Hope is more painful than despair.
Abraham: Romans 4:18-21.

Temptation to deny reality (One tendency, James 4:2, “You ask wrongly”).

No look at reality, no painful waiting.
But ultimately despair.

Temptation to run (Another tendency, James 4:3, “You don’t ask”).

No hope, no pain.
But no miracle.
No intervention of God.
Ahaz: (Is 7:10-14).

Use your own illustration here, if possible. Paul Miller’s illustration: Our daughter Kim

I started following Jesus at 14
PS 37: 4 was one of many verses I clung to at an early age, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and the will give you the desires of your heart.” PS 37:4
In high school I found amazing friends at Sandy Cove
My desire was to be a youth pastor
My other desire was to marry someone who loved Jesus
Marriage:
- I pursued a girl named Tammi for 5 years, turning me down.
- Then I met Emily at Calvin, we fell in love and eventually got engaged
- Emily left me very abruptly. Felt like someone looked into everything I had to offer and said, “yeah….. nope.”
- 8 years later of hating dating I met Pam
- About a year into our marriage we had a sexual disconnect that left both of us alone, sad and angry
Youth Pastor:
- I got a job as a Youth Pastor in Reston VA, it lasted 3 years before I left. The Elders hated what I was doing, the Sr Pastor loved me.
- Sr Pastor moved to York PA where he brought me as well. I became a Young Adult Pastor. The Sr Pastor there didn’t like me and pushed me out.
- I left the ministry altogether and became an email developer in Baltimore. It was the lowest job in a check printing company.
Alone, angry and hopeless Inner Circle was a constant part of my life, every morning in the shower I started with Inner Circle.
Why has God taken away all of my desires?

III. PERMANENT WEAKNESS: SUFFERING IN PRAYER

Gap = Suffering is the quickest way to learn how to pray.
Suffering puts you face to face with your inability, your weakness, and your lack of control.
Completely boxed in, you are able to rebuild the ancient and rusty prayer machine because it is the only thing you have.
Biblical metaphor: Desert.
- A desert is a place with no life in it. Nothing to sustain you.
- Everyone that God uses he takes through a desert: Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, Jesus, Paul.
- You learn to pray in the desert. The desert is the place where God takes his people to learn to pray.
- A desert is a place of pain…maybe a relationship, a job, a child, or an illness that you can’t control or eliminate from your life. These deserts are the windows to the heart of God.
- When you are in a desert, you learn what your real thirsts are: Psalm 63:1, “O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”
- You come face to face with the powerlessness of your idols.
- Idols die for lack of food in the desert.
- Story of Paul and Jill with Kim. God’s gift to humble two proud people.

IV. WHY DOES GOD WAIT?

We are focused on the situation. God is focused on us.

We come to the end of ourselves. We lose control.
Learn to pray.

God is also focused on the situation.

Not merely interested in change in you. A tendency to over-spiritualize suffering
Prayer is relational (learning to relate to God) and about asking (learning to ask God to do things).
He is writing a story. Watch for his hand, watch for story patterns.
You learn to know him in the story.
Overwhelming temptation is to drop out of the story.

Jn. 15:7 “abiding” is what story is all about.

Begin to see that what you thought was a serpent is really a loaf of bread. You didn’t have the eyes to see it.

Watching for Story.

Our individual prayers function in terms of the whole pattern of God’s activity.

Need to write down the prayers so you don’t lose the threads of the story.

Relationship with a Spirit.

Suffering changes your paradigm of this world.

It lets you see the unseen.
It makes the seen less valuable, important.
In that context, prayer flows naturally.

V. ISRAEL: SO WHAT WAS GOD DOING?

Temple.

Imagine the simple prayer of an elderly Jewish peasant in 400 B.C., “God, it hurts to look at this temple. Would you restore the temple so that it is as great as Solomon’s temple?”
What did God do? His answer is unbelievable. It is far more gigantic than the prayers. He sent his Son to be the temple.

King.

An eternal king.
An eternal kingdom.

Local Church.

God used the destruction of the temple and the removal of the Israelites to Babylon to create the synagogue structure, a kind of prototype of the local church. If temple worship had continued uninterrupted, we’d not have a model for the local church. The idea of “local church” was born in seed form.

Bible.

The Old Testament was born. Most scholars believe that the O.T. scrolls were organized during this time. That gave the early church the category of “scripture” that, in turn, created the N.T.

Theology.

Purified Israel of idolatry. Israel would never again worship other pagan gods. ~ Monotheism became permanently central in Israel. This was the foundation of Judeo-Christian thought, central to Western Civilization.

Holiness.

Purified Israel of inter-mixing with other nations.

Missions.

Diaspora became the framework for the early missionary movements of the church.

Preparing for the Death of His Son.

Their monotheism led them to kill Jesus for his claim to be God’s son.
Jesus’ claim to authority over the temple was a key piece in their denunciation of him at the trial.
Jesus’ desire to reach out to the unclean revolted them.
They replaced idolatry of Baal with idolatry of the people of Israel.
Their demand for a human king was rejected by Jesus but they read their own lusts into Jesus and accused him of that before Pilate.

VI. PERSONAL STORY

Broken, my prayers were fragmented at best.
Pam started counseling, I watched her change.
Broken, I started to pray for a change in my life. I started with Galations 5:22, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” I had no self control over the sin of Inner Circle and I needed help too.
I started counseling.
Pam changed, and changed deeply. I saw her do the hard work of counseling; every homework she completed to the very best of her ability. Through this Jesus made her a new woman, confessed long standing sins and God gave us a whole new start to our marriage.
I started working hard in my own counseling, doing all the homework.
I stopped going inner circle after 2 years.
Marriage:
- Jesus gave this to me 100 fold. Pam and I became closer than ever.
- Trust grew
- Sex was pure, beautiful and fun
- Sex became Holy and both of us unafraid
- Pam and I become closer than ever
Ministry (what was Youth Pastor)
- 12 years in Baltimore taught be about start ups, sales, lead gen, coding and marketing. I now use everything I learned to help CSY grow.
- I started with Pam at DQ. I learned her world and grew even more in respect for her and the business her family created.
- God took everything in counseling and helped me put it into a curriculum to help other men. Today, there are 8 groups of men with 24 men.
- There is even another group of men waiting for another leader!
God’s work in me:
- I’m more gentle. The fruits of the Spirit are growing in my life!
- I’m reading God’s Word, and living off of it.
- I’m praying all the time, and living off of it.
- God is using me to lead CSY
- God is using me to lead in my local church
- God is using me to lead at Dairy Queen

VII. IDEA OF STORY AND JOURNAL WRITING

First autobiography that looked at the unconscious was Augustine’s Confessions. When you encounter God, then you can really see yourself.
The Puritans picked up this style of reflective writing to discern the condition of their souls. It was one small step from seeing the interior of their hearts to the 19thcentury novel.
In writing out our prayers, we stand in that long tradition. Because God is the infinite-personal God, he is intimately involved with the details of my life. My prayers interact with this God-who-is-there giving meaning, purpose, and hope to my life. So writing out my prayers not only becomes a way of interacting with God, but also a way of recording and reflecting on this life-full-of-meaning!
To understand the answers, you need to be in touch with and understand the larger story of your life. Writing out your prayers in prayer journals helps you to do that.

Q. What is the difference between “no story” and “story”?

Your Vertical Relationship:
Mentoring & Wisdom from Church Leaders

Going to Church

Hebrews 10: 24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Philippians 2:4
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Psalm 119:10
With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!

Philippians 4:9
The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Someone Above You

James 1: 5
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Proverbs 20:5
The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

Proverbs 13:20
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Hebrews 13:7
Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.

Proverbs 9:9
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.

Proverbs 13:20
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

John 14:26
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

1 Peter 5: 5-7
Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders. Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

Someone with You

Colossians 3: 16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Proverbs 15:22
Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.

Proverbs 18: 24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.

Galatians 6:1
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Ecclesiastes 4:9
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Someone Under You

1 Peter 5:3
Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

Philippians 4:9
What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Acts 8: 27-31
And he rose and went. And there was an Ethiopian, a eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure. He had come to Jerusalem to worship and was returning, seated in his chariot, and he was reading the prophet Isaiah. And the Spirit said to Philip, “Go over and join this chariot.” So Philip ran to him and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?” And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

Titus 2:6-8
Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.

The Second Ripple

Redeeming You

Dignity vs. Definition

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Your Goals

What is God Challenging You to Change?

Enhancing Your Dignity

Addressing Your Depravity

Maturing as a Godly Man

Your Body
- Sleeping right - Hitting REM
- Eating right - Nutrition
- Exercising frequently - Healthy endorphins (help to relieve pain and stress)
- Music, sports, outdoors, laughter . . .
Your Heart
- Prayer
- Quiet Time
- Meditation / Reflection
Your Mind
- Continued learning
- Vocational Health
  - Is your family provided for? Is your house in order?
  - Are you working too much/hard?
  - Are you working too little/lazy?

The Third Ripple

Redeeming Your Relationships

The Fourth Ripple

Redeeming Your World

Stop here

6.4

Growing Your Resurrection Garden

Church

Submitting to Truth

Church is Messy

I don’t know many people who haven’t been frustrated, hurt and in some ways even felt used by the Church. I have felt this in my life too. As a Youth Pastor, Young Adult Pastor and a very involved volunteer over the last 30 years, I have seen and experienced a lot of pain and frustration myself.

Pain in small churches that are too ingrown and aren’t changing.

Pain in large churches that are too focused on how they look and people aren’t being discipled.

Pain of feeling used.

Pain of feeling unseen.

Christianity kept me from Christ. I have spent the rest of my life climbing back toward faith and climbing back toward Church.
- Philip Yancy

I relate to the church rather like a flying buttress: I support it from the outside.
- Winston Churchill

They pounded nails into his hands. After that, well, everyone wore hats.
- Anne Sexton

Even Paul complianed!

1 Corinthians 11: 17
In the following directives I have no praise for you, for your meetings do more harm than good.

Discuss

What frustrates or has frustrated you about Church? What are some of your pains, disappointment and discouragements?

Mature followers of Jesus Surrender to the Beauty & Pain of the Local Church

The bottom line is that the Church is the body of Christ. Jesus died for the Church. He loved the Church. Jesus restarted the Church, through Him, to be spread throughout the world.

1 Corinthians 12: 12 - 20; 27
Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.

Paul urged us not to give up meeting as a body.

Hebrews 10: 24-25
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

We should not give up on the Church

God is the ultimate judge of hypocrisy in the church, I decided; I would leave such judgement in God’s capable hands. I began to relax and grow softer, more forgiving of others. After all, who has a perfect spouse, or prefect parents or children? We do not give up on the institution of family because of its imperfections - why give up on the church?
- Philip Yancey

I started attending Church because the service was so horrible I knew there must be something else there to make people come.
- Flannery O’Connor

Whenever I abandon church for a time, I find that I am the one who suffers. My faith fades, and the crusty shell of lovelessness grows over me again. I grow colder rather than hotter. And so my journeys away from church have always circled back inside.
-Philip Yancey

So why Church? What was God doing?

People other than your family, A diverse community (they aren’t all like you)

One of the best things about Church is that you don’t pick who comes. Because of this amazing diversity, people of all colors, classes, backgrounds and perspectives come together. One of my most beautiful experiences of this was at Living Word. They had started a Single Adult Ministry and a group of 40 of us attended on a regular basis. Of that 40, about 20 of us became very close. We would hold game nights at our homes. White color. Blue color. Young and single. Old and single. It was an amazing mix of people I never would have chosen on my own. They all showed me Jesus in new ways.

Church is Lead by an Ordained Person who knows what they are talking about

One of the beauty’s of Church is this amazing structure of seminaries that help educate and lead our pastors. I went to seminary for a year and dropped out because I felt it was useless for my story at the time. So much of it felt irrelevant to the work I wanted to do helping people with real problems. I totally get that our seminary system and the people who graduate don’t always assure us that they are ready to lead us through life’s challenges.

However, there is a profound beauty to leaders being on the same page Theologically through all the amazing various and different denominations that reflect the beauty of Jesus differently.

When my best friend Tim was ordained, it was a beautiful and Holy moment. Tim studied. Tim worked. Tim was tested. And Tim had to stand before the 4 C’s and withstand days of being checked, drilled and challenged to see if he was fit to lead a Church in the name of Jesus.

It was intense. And it was also beautiful. The Church is worth loving, protecting and caring for. Because of Tim’s hard work, he’s an amazing Pastor and his congregation is flourishing even though hard times.

The Core of the Church needs to be right

The main vision of the Evangelical Presbyterian Church is amazing. Essentials Unity, Non essentials diversity and all things charity.

Essentials unity
- Does the body you attend all agree on the main essentials of following Jesus? Do they hold you accountable? Do they hold each other accountable? Are these taught and followed?
Non essentials diversity
- Does the body understand what the non essentials are and they allow for differences? Do you as followers understand the freedom of diversity in non essentials?
All things charity
- Does the body allow grace and truth towards each other?

The Church should be alive!

Church looks like a manteraty ward:

New life
Dr
Clueless dad
Nurses
Janitors
Pain, suffering loss
Joy

6.5

Growing Your Resurrection Garden

Integrity

Living in Truth

I want to be honest about one of my greatest concerns coming to the summit of Mt. Everest in Climb29. It’s about change.

My grandfather, Jack Miller, was a great man who did a lot of great things. Things I’m extremely proud of. Because of Jack Miller, Grace Theology was forever changed. Because of Jack Miller, thousands came to know Jesus and millions are growing as a result of Jesus at work through Jack Miller.

He started the New Life Churches in Philadelphia. He wrote 11 books. He started World Harvest Mission, now known as Serge. Granddad was a short but strong man. His legacy, love for Jesus, and his knowledge was just amazing.

When Grandad died in 1996, I remember carrying his casket with my cousins, seeing thousands at his funeral. I wasn’t one of the people who cried that day. I didn’t know him. Grandad knew and loved the church. One thing he did poorly was love his own grandkids. He never knew me, apart from short times here or there.

I was lamenting with my dad about it and dad’s comments have stayed with me as I struggle through what happens to men as we get older.

Grandad was an Atheist and became a radical follower of Jesus. That was change #1.

Grandad then discovered Grace and lead the Church in the 70’s and 80’s in a radical change into the Grace Movement. That was change #2.

Grandad was faced with his sin of Pride, Arrogance and his inability to love people around him in the same way that he loved the church. Grandad loved the Church, but struggled to love people, right down to his own family. But he wasn’t able to see this. Change #3 was too much for him.

My dad said to me, “I’m not sure how many radical changes that people are able to experience. Change #3 was too much for him. It’s sad. It’s also a reminder of our need for constant change. Do you and I have a limit of when we can no longer be transformed?”

This lesson was written with that in mind. What do we need in our lives to keep change front and center? Can we, at the end of our time, have people look back and say, “wow, this man used to be addicted to porn and masturbation, and after that change became real, he never stopped being transformed.”

This is my dream.

That we never stop transforming.

Living in Repentance

Where am I wrong?

We are on this journey because the Spirit was pulling us into getting help and turning from our sins. We call this repentance. Repentance is a word that we use in Church, but mostly we use it for people who start the journey of following Jesus. But our lives should be marked by constant repentance. As long as we are living this side of heaven, God’s Spirit is inside of us, pushing us out of darkness and into light.

We should never stop repenting.

We keep our hearts open to repentance when we are open to others, open to feedback, encouraging feedback, praying, studying God’s Word and living next to Jesus in a way where we are constantly facing our own shortcomings and going after them.

What sins in our lives does Jesus long to change? What sins are we aware of and aren’t doing anything about? What sins are we praying against? What sins are others praying with us against?

This journey should be the very start of radical change in your life. Not the only radical change.

2 Chronicles 7: 14
If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Living in Humility

Where am I weak?

Lasting victory is a strange thing. There is this tension I have felt between being proud of the work that God did in me, and being proud of myself. The only way I can explain this tension is in a story.

Each time Evil comes after me I am tempted to hide, downplay and keep the details far from my fellow climbers. Each time there is a battle, “Do I really open up about all of this? Do I have to?” and each time I open up I’m so thankful I did expose my own brokenness. God always meets me in my humility, but my humility never comes naturally. I feel like it’s so often a difficult choice.

Another thing is that I lead a lot of great groups of men, who because of what Climb29 is doing, have looked up to me on this journey. I openly and quickly share about God’s work and lead with little hesitation. And there are times when I lead too quickly. There are times when I take my own experience and blindly apply it to other men without asking questions. I am so quick to go into my own story and find advice and I am so slow to go to Jesus, slowly, and take my time with men on their own unique journey.

I struggle, all the time, with humility.

And being humble is where God meets us. It’s how we changed and how we will continue to change.

1 Peter 5: 5
In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

Jonathan Edwards
We must view humility as one of the most essential things that characterizes true Christianity.

Living in Death

Where am I Dying?

I wish dying to myself came natural. I wish J-Curves, in time, would get easier. Maybe they do. But so far, for me they don’t. Walking with Jesus in this life means we have to follow Him into death, again and again and again . . . forever. We will follow Jesus into J-Curves until we breathe our last breath on earth.

In J-Curves, we struggle to enter them willingly. That’s our first problem.

In J-Curve, after we choose to enter them (willingly or not), we almost always regret the choice as the death becomes harder and harder.

Then we wish we could go back to the top and ask why we entered this in the first place.

We should always be dying and rising with Jesus. This is our calling. This is where life comes from. This is how Jesus grows in us. Where is Jesus asking you to die? Where is your next Love J-Curve? Where are we living in the death and resurrection with Jesus?

This verse from Philippians 3: 10 is core.

This is us.

Philippians 3: 10
I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Living in The Mirror

Where am I Weird? Where am I Gifted?

We spent so much time looking in the mirror, the temptation is that you feel like you saw it all. But we haven’t.

Each of us in this room is extremely gifted to do great things for the Glory of God. What are those things? Are you cultivating those things? Who is validating them in your life, or are you validating yourself?

Each of us in this room is extremely weird and full of obstacles that make the Glory of God a bit fuzzy when people see us. Are you addressing those things? Who is speaking into your life about these things? How are you addressing them?

We must never, ever, grow tired of looking in the mirror and doing the hard work of becoming like Jesus.

2 Corinthians 12: 7b-10
Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Living in The light

Where am I tempted to hide?

Hiding for all of us came so naturally. We’ve all been hiding for so long it’s second nature. This journey was the opposite of that. We brought it all out into the light.

Remember all the embarrassing things we shared? the kind of Porn you looked at? Sending a LifeLine after acting out? Sending a LifeLine in preoccupation? Praying over the space of your struggle? Everything we did was to bring us out of The Cave and into the Light. Into the Garden.

How is your Garden going to protect it’s light? How are you going to choose to maintain living in the light?

John 1: 7
But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Living in Christ

Where Is my identity?

There is no greater love than knowing Jesus deeper and deeper. And knowing Jesus means that we will know how much He sees and loves us. The two are inseparable. Each of us are going to leave and think we know Jesus without spending the same kind of intense time that we have been. How are you going to walk with Jesus, be transformed by Him and get to know Him even more?

What are you doing to cultivate this?

How are you going to realign your Identity to Jesus after this group stops meeting?

How are you going to cultivate knowing Jesus?

How are you going to walk next to Him?

Luke 3: 22
and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”

Living in Prudence

Where Will I always Stay away?

Now that we have gone through this experience, what fences need to remain or be built to stop Evil from coming back in? Now that we have almost reached the summit, what changes will be need to be lasting?

Limitations on phones? Entertainment? Types of entertainment? Social Media? What are you doing to know that Evil will do anything to get back in?

1 Peter 4: 7
The end of all things is at hand; therefore be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers.

Proverbs 22: 3
The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.

Living in Change

Where is my next mountain?

What is your next mountain? This is one of the most important things we can ask ourselves again and again. Two things happen when we get to the top:

Change is actually possible. The Fruit of the Holy Spirit are REAL and ATTAINABLE!
What other mountains do you see that Jesus wants you to face?

Jeremiah 17: 7-8
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

“My own plans are made. While I can, I sail east in the Dawn Treader. When she fails me, I paddle east in my coracle. When she sinks, I shall swim east with my four paws. And when I can swim no longer, if I have not reached Aslan’s country, or shot over the edge of the world into some vast cataract, I shall sink with my nose to the sunrise.”

— C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

The River Of Life:
Growing Deep and Wide

Before we started this Climb29 this is where we all were: broken cisterns that can’t hold water.

Nothing makes us happy. Nothing works. Nothing changes us. This will never go away.

“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water.
Jeremiah 2: 13

Two things were wrong:

We walked away from Jesus, the real living water.
We made for ourselves a fake way of getting water, that in the end left us thirsty and alone.

The Prophet Ezekiel has a vision, a vision that stays with Israel deeply. This vision became a sign of healing that would come to Israel. At the Feast of Tabernacles, water was drawn from the pool of Shiloah and poured on the alter, along with wine, while people would sing Psalms.

The man brought me back to the entrance to the temple, and I saw water coming out from under the threshold of the temple toward the east (for the temple faced east). The water was coming down from under the south side of the temple, south of the altar. He then brought me out through the north gate and led me around the outside to the outer gate facing east, and the water was trickling from the south side.
As the man went eastward with a measuring line in his hand, he measured off a thousand cubits and then led me through water that was ankle-deep. He measured off another thousand cubits and led me through water that was knee-deep. He measured off another thousand and led me through water that was up to the waist. He measured off another thousand, but now it was a river that I could not cross, because the water had risen and was deep enough to swim in—a river that no one could cross. He asked me, “Son of man, do you see this?”
Ezekiel 47: 1-6

This is a vision that out the Temple, comes water, a healing for Israel. There is no natural spring feeding this river, the spring IS the Temple. And this isn’t any normal river, every mile, the river gets deeper. Every mile it gets wider. It gets so deep and so wide that you can’t even cross or swim in it anymore.

It’s a majestic river.

The first person Jesus know that he is the Messiah is a woman marked by her whole community as so sexually broken that she can’t change (feel familiar?). Jesus tells this to her:

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”
“Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
John 4: 10-14

What does Jesus offer her?

Living Water. A water so amazing that you will never be thirsty again. Even better… through this water a SPRING will show up in you!

Then, 3 chapters later, Jesus makes this even more clear at the Festival of Tabernacles.

On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified.
On hearing his words, some of the people said, “Surely this man is the Prophet.”
Some wanted to seize him, but no one laid a hand on him.
John 7: 37-40, 44

Earlier in John 2 Jesus says:

The Jews then responded to him, “What sign can you show us to prove your authority to do all this?”
Jesus answered them, “Destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.”
They replied, “It has taken forty-six years to build this temple, and you are going to raise it in three days?”
John 2: 18-20

Jesus is the new Temple!

Jesus is the River!

Jesus is the source of Life!

By following Jesus, our broken cisterns aren’t broken anymore. They are healed. By the Living Water! By following in the Sufferings of Christ, we are healed! A river flows from Jesus into us! Because of the amazing work of Jesus, we are compelled to share it with other broken cisterns!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort.
2 Corinthians 1: 3-7

We must share! The River keeps going and going! Miles and miles!

The First Challenge
Your River Grows Wider

As we experience this River, from Jesus, into our lives, we share in the same sufferings of Christ and our comfort abounds through Christ! He does this so we can comfort those who are also in trouble! We do this with the comfort we received from Christ!

After I experienced lasting change, I had to talk about it. In talking about it, God would open up doors left and right.

First it was a close friend.
Then a family member.
Then my pastor asked me help lead a book study on Porn addictions
Then someone in the class came up to me and asked for help
Then he told someone and I started meeting with 2 people.
Then a third man joined.
Then a college student in Tennessee wanted to meet with me
Then I put the papers online and came up with Climb29, just to help share documents with a college student
Then my family member invited a friend to join us
Then the college group grew to 7 young men

The River got wider and wider and wider.

Jesus wanted to use me, to love people as I was loved. Today, as I type this, there are 9 groups with 26 men on the Climb.

This is mind blowing.

Here is the first part that we stop and do some application. In order for your Garden to Grow, a river, the comes from Jesus, grows wider. The work doesn’t stop with you.

How is your River growing wider?
How is God calling you to “comfort those in any trouble with the comfort you yourselves received from God”?
How is God calling you to use your story of Redemption? This can’t stop with you.

The Second Challenge
Your River Grows Deeper

One Level Deep

A mentor, who loves Jesus, that has been tested by time with years of experience can take you deeper than you could have ever gone on your own.

On this journey, someone poured into your life, through Christ. You are at this point on the Climb, because someone Climbed ahead of you, did their own work and wanted to help others experience the same freedom. This mentor, Sherpa, gave you years of their own time because you were worth the investment.

Someone poured into you. Someone taught you. You were under their wisdom and leadership and through that, you changed.

You were under someone. And through that, you met the Living Water. You experienced a new depth to the Living Water of Jesus.

Two Levels Deep

A close friend, who loves Jesus, that knows you, relates to you, shares a passion to run for Jesus with you, can take you deeper than you could have ever gone on your own.

But God didn’t want you to be on this journey alone. Climbing takes a group. Discipleship can’t happen alone with just one mentor. You needed friends. This group started with strangers, and it’s ending with life long friends, who know you more than most people ever got to know you. You needed to be on this journey with others.

There were times you were the one encouraging others.

There were times you were the one who needed encouragement.

None of us were designed to be alone.

Three Levels Deep

Friendships

Most men don’t have deep friendships. They might have hunting friends, gaming friends, sports friends . . . but do we have friends that we can share our struggles with? Our journey with? Do you have friends that listen to you, talk with you and share life with you? Do we have friends that push us towards climbing mountains and will walk with us on that journey?

Most men have friends.

Most men don’t have friends that help them climb new mountains that push us to become more like Jesus.

We need friends who are in God’s Word, who Pray, who are doing their own hard work on this hard and beautiful journey of knowing and becoming like Jesus. Do you have friends that admonish you and sing songs of thankfulness?

Colossians 3: 16
Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

When life gets hard, and as this climb comes to an end, what is your plan when life gets hard? What is your plan for LifeLines, from now, until the day you die and meet Jesus? How will find comfort and help when you feel the confusion of Evil?

Proverbs 18: 24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

On this Climb we talked about what was unspoken and uncomfortable. We corrected. We listened. We challenged. We repented. We pointed each other to change. We needed to walk away from Evil and towards Jesus. We needed each other.

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 13:20
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

This journey helped you walk away from going Inner Circle. But you are still a mess. You will always be a sinner in need of Jesus. Who are you going to keep in your life to call you out? Who do you allow to show you what you look like in the mirror? Who is challenging you as only a friend can?

Galatians 6:1
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Porn is isolation. Masturbation is isolation. Everything hidden. Everything in the dark. This journey is about light, leaving the cave and growing our Resurrection Garden. What are you doing to make sure you don’t fall back into isolation? What is your friendship plan?

Ecclesiastes 4:9
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Let’s stop and do some application. In order for your Garden to Grow, a river, that comes from Jesus, grows deeper. This means having healthy friends in your life.

What makes a healthy friend that points you to Jesus?
What is the difference between friends and the kind of friends we are encouraging you to have?
How are your fellow climbers your friends? How has that friendship grown?
Are you praying for healthy friendships? Are you praying for your friends?
How does God want your friends to be used in your life?

Someone you are mentoring, who is struggling, can listen, wants to learn, longs to be challenged, and is ready to do the hard work of change but just needs a leader, can take you deeper than you could have ever gone on your own.

Every climber, at some point in the journey, is thinking of someone they wish was on this climb with them. A friend, family member, someone from church . . . someone who they know also needs help facing Unwanted Sexual Behavior.

When God does something amazing in our lives we have to share it. This is a sign of you being a healthy follower of Jesus! You comfort, because you have been comforted.

The desire to teach others as you have been taught, someone following your lead, is a new and exciting chapter.

A Healthy Follower Of Jesus has these three things

Mentors. Friendships. Followers.

Mentors

You followed a good example. The person you learned from had gone through a lot of suffering, and God used that suffering to transform them. That suffering was used to help you experience lasting change. It’s John’s hope that you found hope in his own suffering and the suffering of all the Sherpas to make this journey possible.

1 Peter 5:3
Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

You were led. You didn’t know how to practice self-control. You weren’t able to change on your own. You didn’t know so much about Garden Sex, your story, your own addictions, your need for help and others. You needed someone to practice with you, following Jesus.

Philippians 4:9
What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Proverbs 9:9
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
Proverbs 13:20
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

You agreed to this climb because you were like the Ethiopian in this story. You knew what you were doing was wrong. You knew Jesus offered something greater. But you didn’t understand your story, God’s story, God’s design, Evil’s destruction of God’s design. Like the Ethiopian, you needed help. You needed someone who was listening to the Spirit, and willing to slow down, come and sit next to you and share the Good News of true lasting Healing.

Acts 8: 27-31
And he rose and went. And there was an Ethiopian, a eunuch, a court official of Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, who was in charge of all her treasure. He had come to Jerusalem to worship and was returning, seated in his chariot, and he was reading the prophet Isaiah. And the Spirit said to Philip, “Go over and join this chariot.” So Philip ran to him and heard him reading Isaiah the prophet and asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?” And he said, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to come up and sit with him.

Let’s stop and do some application. In order for your Garden to Grow, a river, that comes from Jesus, grows deeper. This means always having a mentor in your life.

Who is a mentor that you have now, or had in the past?
Are you praying about who God wants to you mentor from?
Is there someone you feel you can ask to meet with on a regular basis, for mentoring? Could be 1x a quarter, 1x a month . . . don’t pressure yourself into frequency. Focus on the person you feel the Spirit leading you to learn from.
What would you want to learn from a mentor?

Followers

It’s with great excitement we get to talk about this now . . . YOU becoming a Sherpa. You leading someone else. If you got this far, God has done a deep and powerful work in your life. 2 Corinthians clearly says, “comfort as you have been comforted.” God doesn’t change lives so you can hide His work in your life. You are a miracle! You were lost, and now you are found. There are people in your ife, who are lost and need help.

Men with addictions. Men with anger. Men with anxiety. Men who are afraid to come forward and tell you the truth. There are men in your life who are dying of thirst, and you know the living water.

You have understanding now. You have an experience. You have a story. You can help draw them out.

Proverbs 20:5
The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

You were lead. Someone gave to you. It’s your turn now to give the same freedom and understanding to others.

Hebrews 13:7
Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.

You might have doubts about leading. You don’t have time. You don’t know what to say. Here’s a major truth that we have learned: no one has time, no one has confidence, but this is something you need to do. Why? Climbers who graduated and didn’t lead others with what they learned, in time, didn’t keep mentors, friendships and choose not to lead others, ended up forgetting the amazing truths of the journey. Some have gone back to Inner Circle.

But those who kept going, kept learning, praying, sharing God’s work . . . those men who kept it fresh, stayed fighting Evil.

Men who still connect to their first Sherpa (mentor), fellow climbers (friends) and are also leading (following) are men who have built their house on Jesus that can handle life’s storms. It’s made them stronger. Not indestructible. But stronger.

God is with you. This is His work.

God wants to use you to CRUSH Evil. Will you join him?

John 14:26
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

Let’s stop and do some application. In order for your Garden to Grow, a river, that comes from Jesus, grows deeper. This means having followers, people you hare helping, in your life.

Who in your life needs help that God wants to use you to reach them?
Could you lead a Climb29 group or something similar?
How is God calling you to share your story with others? How is God calling you to walk with others?
Do you see how God uses you teaching others to keep you strong against Evil?

The Depth you experience being mentored.

The Depth you experience being mentored & on an authentic life changing journey with friends.

The Depth you experience being mentored & on an authentic life changing journey with friends and at the end of that journey, you now want to lead others into the same freedom you now experienced.

6.6

Growing Your Resurrection Garden

Discipleship

Spreading the Truth

Fixing Your Vertical Relationship with God

Guidance from God

Q . If we’re going to surrender our will to God rather than doing our own will, what are some of the immediate problems we face?

We want to do our own will.
We’re not sure what God’s will is, or how to find it out.

Q . How do you think Jesus went about knowing his Father’s will?

Matthew 5:4
“Blessed are those who mourn…”—Isaiah 61:2,3
Matthew 5:5
“Blessed are the meek…”—Psalm 37:11
Matthew 22:37
“Love the Lord your God with all your heart…”—Deuteronomy 6:5
Matthew 22:39
“Love your neighbor as yourself…”—Leviticus 19:18
Matthew 27:46
“My God, my God…”—Psalm 22:1

As you can see, Jesus’ teaching was imbedded in the Old Testament. Jesus didn’t just mechanically quote Scripture; he interpreted all of life through the lens of his Father’s Word. For example, Jesus didn’t say we’re to love our enemies because it’s a nice thing to do. Rather, we’re to love our enemies because that’s what his Father does (Matthew 5:45).1

Q . Why is it surprising that Jesus clings to Scripture? (Hint: Jesus clearly claims to be the unique Son of God.)

If Jesus was God, we’d think he’d have a direct modem to his Father, and he wouldn’t need intermediaries like the Bible.

Teach:

Jesus is the last person we’d think would need the Bible. We half expect him to receive cosmic vibrations! If he were so God-connected, he’d be able to move on to deeper things. Instead, what we find is that Jesus was saturated with the Old Testament, with God’s Word. He was clinging to holy words when he was dying on the cross. Jesus was modeling for us how to be dependent on God. We do it by being saturated with the Word of God.

Waiting for Kim on the Steps

One day when Kim was about ten, she was reading upstairs in her room. She came down to the kitchen where I was sitting, and indicated she wanted help carrying an enormous stack of her Richard Scarry books to our makeshift den in the basement. She went down the steps ahead of me, holding her box of crayons, sliding on her bottom from one step to the next (standing and walking while carrying the crayons was too difficult).

About two-thirds of the way down, she stopped—she had spilled the crayons all over the steps.

Normally, I would put the books down and help her. But instead of immediately going to her aid, I asked, “Kim, do you want me to help you?” To my surprise, she shook her head. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I stood on the steps and waited while she slowly picked up the crayons. It was only a couple of minutes, but it seemed like an hour. It occurred to me that since it was hard for Kim to use her fingers, it was better for her to learn how to pick things up by herself. How quick I am to do obvious things when they might not be the best things.

The only reason I didn’t just charge in and help Kim was because I was thinking about what Jesus said, “I do nothing on my own. I do just what I see my Father doing.”

Helping people can be tricky. It would look like I was doing something for Kim by picking up the crayons. But am I helping her, or am I just helping myself so I can get on to the next thing? My wants, if gone unchecked, would have hurt Kim ever so slightly. By saying “no” to myself, my love for her could be pure, unpolluted by my own desires.

The Word operates like a lens to help me see myself as well as the situation I’m in.

We are Programmed for Divine Words

The Bible.

Many look down on Scripture-reading today. Homes that do have Bibles often just keep them on a shelf. Our culture is no longer aware of the Bible. The intellectual and media elites who guide our country look down on the Bible as an old-fashioned hangover from a primitive society.3 But don’t all of us cling to words to give meaning to our lives?

Q . What words do many Americans look to for guidance?

Many people used to listen to Oprah’s words.
Podcasts
Political Pundits
Psychologists look to the writings of Freud, Jung, or whomever they follow.
Marxists look to the words of Marx.
Evolutionists look to Darwin.
College students/professors look to “the literature.” (University professors refer to “the literature” almost with reverence. The term is just short-hand for the current thinking—usually journal articles—in a particular field.)

Einstein reflected that “Human beings…dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player.”

“Programmed by Holy Words.”

Linguists and anthropologists have come to realize that we’re pre-programmed for words. We’re not a blank slate, or tabula rasa, as John Locke thought during the 18th century Enlightenment. In fact, we’re programmed not only for words but also for authoritative words with which to shape our lives. We need words to make sense out of the chaos of this world.

Q . How did the desire for authoritative words become evident in the immediate aftermath of the attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon?

Q . Why do we hunger for authoritative words?

We hunger for meaning.
We need direction.
We’re easily swayed.

Teach

Events don’t arrive complete with their own meaning. They don’t come with a footnote on the screen explaining why they’re happening. Without words to define their meaning, events are meaningless.

Not only does Jesus soak in Scripture and let it shape his life, but he also contributes to the creation of the Bible. Here are some examples:

He claims the authority to write new commandments (John 13:34).
He overturns the Mosaic “an eye for an eye” with a simple “but I say unto you” (Matthew 5:38-39).
People marvel that he teaches as one who has authority, in sharp contrast to the rabbis who were con-stantly quoting other rabbis. (Matthew 7:28-29).
He puts his own words on par with Scripture. They are eternal: “Heaven and earth will pass away but my words will never pass away” (Matthew 24:35)—an incredible claim by a first century Jewish peasant. His words are a prophecy that proves the Bible, the very power of Jesus’ words:
- The Bible is the all-time best seller in the history of the world.
- Every year the Bible is the best seller.

For the disciple John, Jesus wasn’t just an example of a man devoted to the words of God but a man who was the Word of God (John 1:1), whose life was an open door to understanding what God is like. Jesus’ words aren’t just good advice, but Scripture, divine words. Jesus, always the disrupter, refuses to let us be neutral about him—even now.

Q: How has God’s Word shaped your life?

4. Jesus’ Life Is Shaped by Prayer

Let us look now at how prayer shaped Jesus’ life and can shape ours as well. Not only did the

Word inform Jesus but prayer did as well.

Luke 5:15-16—Jesus Withdraws to Pray
But now even more the report about him went abroad, and great crowds gathered to hear him and to be healed of their infirmities. But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray.
Those aren’t Jesus’ goals. He’s not motivated by the lust for fame.

Q . If Jesus is the Son of God, why is it surprising that he prays?

If he were God, then we’d think he wouldn’t have to pray, but could just be in contact with God by osmosis. He would be hardwired to his Father.

Teach

Jesus’ ministry, and Sermon on the Mount in particular, are about giving up power. The Sermon on the Mount is like a room where Jesus slowly closes all the doors to the human exercise of power.

Box of the Sermon on the Mount.
[Close each door as you teach each point below.]

Matthew 5:1—You should humble yourself in relationships. “The meek shall inherit the earth.”
5:38—You should empower your enemies, those who abuse you. Jesus is taking away the wrong use of power.
6:1—You should keep your devotion to God hidden so you do not use it to make yourself look good. Jesus takes away human power from our spiritual life.
1. If you fast, deliberately hide it so no one notices.
2. If you pray, do it in private.
3. If you give, don’t tell anyone.
6:19—You should also give up the power and security that money provides by giving it away. By now you’re probably thinking, “Ugh! Who’s going to take care of me?”
6:25—Jesus says, “Your heavenly Father will take care of you! You even need to give up worrying!”
7:1—Then Jesus tells you the most galling thing of all: when you know you’re right (that is, when you see a speck in your brother’s eye) you should ignore it for a moment and concentrate on your own failures, your own beams. You shouldn’t use your insights into other people to correct them; instead you should use that information to humble yourself first by finding the beam in your own eye.
7:7—New way of power: “Ask.”
1. Having shut off all human exits to power, Jesus opens up a new, divine one (that we’d left closed).
2. He gives us a new way of getting things done.
3. Prayer at its very simplest is asking God for all that you need.

Illustration:

After Robertson McQuilkin left his job as a university president to take care of his wife, Muriel, he struggled with why things had happened this way. One evening he prayed:

“Father, I like this assignment, and I have no regrets. But if a coach puts a man on the bench, he must not want him in the game. You needn’t tell me, of course, but I’d like to know—why didn’t you need me in the game?”

I didn’t sleep well that night and awoke contemplating the puzzle. Muriel was still mobile at that time, so we set out on our morning walk around the block. She wasn’t too sure on her feet, so we went slowly and held hands as we always do. This day I heard footsteps behind me and looked back to see the familiar form of a local derelict behind us. He staggered past us, then turned and looked us up and down. “Tha’s good. I likes ‘at,” he said. “Tha’s real good. I likes it.” He turned and headed back down the street, mumbling to himself over and over again, “Tha’s good. I like it.”

When Muriel and I reached our little garden and sat down, his words came back to me. Then the realization hit me; God had spoken through an inebriated old derelict. “It is you who are whispering to my spirit, “I likes it, tha’s good,’” I said aloud. “I may be on the bench, but if you like it and say it’s good, that’s all that counts.”5

Teach:

McQuilkin gave up human power and prestige, and into that vacuum God spoke. Prayer help us discover what God is doing in our individual stories.

Illustration:

When Kim was at the bottom of the steps picking up her books, I found myself feeling empty. In that emp-tiness I begin hungering for God. When “I” die, it makes room for God. I’m off the throne in my life and I hunger to know him in new ways. When I don’t do my will, it opens up the door of prayer.

Q . Does anyone else have an example of how God has communicated with them in some form through prayer?

1. Jesus Listens to His Father Through the Word

The First Ripple

Redeeming Your Relationship with God Through Jesus

Your Vertical Relationship:
Prayer

Entering Your Father’s Story Through Prayer

Key Issue: Why doesn’t God answer my prayers?

I. STORY OF ISRAEL

Temple is destroyed.
Jerusalem is destroyed.
Walls are down.
Kingdom is gone.
King is gone.
Kingship is gone.
Deported.
Unbelievers brought in.
Glory has departed from Israel.

The Reality: Israel was in agony

Psalm 137:1, “By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion.”

The Reality: Return from captivity only made it worse.

Haggai said to Zerubbabel, “Who of you who is left saw the house in its former glory? How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you as nothing?” (2:3)

But there was Hope:

II. HOPE vs REALITY Chart

What does the tension between hope and reality feel like?

It hurts.
You aren’t in control.
God’s word doesn’t equal the situation.
Promise of God almost makes it worse.
Hope is more painful than despair.
Abraham: Romans 4:18-21.

Temptation to deny reality (One tendency, James 4:2, “You ask wrongly”).

No look at reality, no painful waiting.
But ultimately despair.

Temptation to run (Another tendency, James 4:3, “You don’t ask”).

No hope, no pain.
But no miracle.
No intervention of God.
Ahaz: (Is 7:10-14).

Use your own illustration here, if possible. Paul Miller’s illustration: Our daughter Kim

I started following Jesus at 14
PS 37: 4 was one of many verses I clung to at an early age, “Delight yourself in the LORD, and the will give you the desires of your heart.” PS 37:4
In high school I found amazing friends at Sandy Cove
My desire was to be a youth pastor
My other desire was to marry someone who loved Jesus
Marriage:
- I pursued a girl named Tammi for 5 years, turning me down.
- Then I met Emily at Calvin, we fell in love and eventually got engaged
- Emily left me very abruptly. Felt like someone looked into everything I had to offer and said, “yeah….. nope.”
- 8 years later of hating dating I met Pam
- About a year into our marriage we had a sexual disconnect that left both of us alone, sad and angry
Youth Pastor:
- I got a job as a Youth Pastor in Reston VA, it lasted 3 years before I left. The Elders hated what I was doing, the Sr Pastor loved me.
- Sr Pastor moved to York PA where he brought me as well. I became a Young Adult Pastor. The Sr Pastor there didn’t like me and pushed me out.
- I left the ministry altogether and became an email developer in Baltimore. It was the lowest job in a check printing company.
Alone, angry and hopeless Inner Circle was a constant part of my life, every morning in the shower I started with Inner Circle.
Why has God taken away all of my desires?

III. PERMANENT WEAKNESS: SUFFERING IN PRAYER

Gap = Suffering is the quickest way to learn how to pray.
Suffering puts you face to face with your inability, your weakness, and your lack of control.
Completely boxed in, you are able to rebuild the ancient and rusty prayer machine because it is the only thing you have.
Biblical metaphor: Desert.
- A desert is a place with no life in it. Nothing to sustain you.
- Everyone that God uses he takes through a desert: Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, David, Jesus, Paul.
- You learn to pray in the desert. The desert is the place where God takes his people to learn to pray.
- A desert is a place of pain…maybe a relationship, a job, a child, or an illness that you can’t control or eliminate from your life. These deserts are the windows to the heart of God.
- When you are in a desert, you learn what your real thirsts are: Psalm 63:1, “O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.”
- You come face to face with the powerlessness of your idols.
- Idols die for lack of food in the desert.
- Story of Paul and Jill with Kim. God’s gift to humble two proud people.

IV. WHY DOES GOD WAIT?

We are focused on the situation. God is focused on us.

We come to the end of ourselves. We lose control.
Learn to pray.

God is also focused on the situation.

Not merely interested in change in you. A tendency to over-spiritualize suffering
Prayer is relational (learning to relate to God) and about asking (learning to ask God to do things).
He is writing a story. Watch for his hand, watch for story patterns.
You learn to know him in the story.
Overwhelming temptation is to drop out of the story.

Jn. 15:7 “abiding” is what story is all about.

Begin to see that what you thought was a serpent is really a loaf of bread. You didn’t have the eyes to see it.

Watching for Story.

Our individual prayers function in terms of the whole pattern of God’s activity.

Need to write down the prayers so you don’t lose the threads of the story.

Relationship with a Spirit.

Suffering changes your paradigm of this world.

It lets you see the unseen.
It makes the seen less valuable, important.
In that context, prayer flows naturally.

V. ISRAEL: SO WHAT WAS GOD DOING?

Temple.

Imagine the simple prayer of an elderly Jewish peasant in 400 B.C., “God, it hurts to look at this temple. Would you restore the temple so that it is as great as Solomon’s temple?”
What did God do? His answer is unbelievable. It is far more gigantic than the prayers. He sent his Son to be the temple.

King.

An eternal king.
An eternal kingdom.

Local Church.

God used the destruction of the temple and the removal of the Israelites to Babylon to create the synagogue structure, a kind of prototype of the local church. If temple worship had continued uninterrupted, we’d not have a model for the local church. The idea of “local church” was born in seed form.

Bible.

The Old Testament was born. Most scholars believe that the O.T. scrolls were organized during this time. That gave the early church the category of “scripture” that, in turn, created the N.T.

Theology.

Purified Israel of idolatry. Israel would never again worship other pagan gods. ~ Monotheism became permanently central in Israel. This was the foundation of Judeo-Christian thought, central to Western Civilization.

Holiness.

Purified Israel of inter-mixing with other nations.

Missions.

Diaspora became the framework for the early missionary movements of the church.

Preparing for the Death of His Son.

Their monotheism led them to kill Jesus for his claim to be God’s son.
Jesus’ claim to authority over the temple was a key piece in their denunciation of him at the trial.
Jesus’ desire to reach out to the unclean revolted them.
They replaced idolatry of Baal with idolatry of the people of Israel.
Their demand for a human king was rejected by Jesus but they read their own lusts into Jesus and accused him of that before Pilate.

VI. PERSONAL STORY

Broken, my prayers were fragmented at best.
Pam started counseling, I watched her change.
Broken, I started to pray for a change in my life. I started with Galations 5:22, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.” I had no self control over the sin of Inner Circle and I needed help too.
I started counseling.
Pam changed, and changed deeply. I saw her do the hard work of counseling; every homework she completed to the very best of her ability. Through this Jesus made her a new woman, confessed long standing sins and God gave us a whole new start to our marriage.
I started working hard in my own counseling, doing all the homework.
I stopped going inner circle after 2 years.
Marriage:
- Jesus gave this to me 100 fold. Pam and I became closer than ever.
- Trust grew
- Sex was pure, beautiful and fun
- Sex became Holy and both of us unafraid
- Pam and I become closer than ever
Ministry (what was Youth Pastor)
- 12 years in Baltimore taught be about start ups, sales, lead gen, coding and marketing. I now use everything I learned to help CSY grow.
- I started with Pam at DQ. I learned her world and grew even more in respect for her and the business her family created.
- God took everything in counseling and helped me put it into a curriculum to help other men. Today, there are 8 groups of men with 24 men.
- There is even another group of men waiting for another leader!
God’s work in me:
- I’m more gentle. The fruits of the Spirit are growing in my life!
- I’m reading God’s Word, and living off of it.
- I’m praying all the time, and living off of it.
- God is using me to lead CSY
- God is using me to lead in my local church
- God is using me to lead at Dairy Queen

VII. IDEA OF STORY AND JOURNAL WRITING

First autobiography that looked at the unconscious was Augustine’s Confessions. When you encounter God, then you can really see yourself.
The Puritans picked up this style of reflective writing to discern the condition of their souls. It was one small step from seeing the interior of their hearts to the 19thcentury novel.
In writing out our prayers, we stand in that long tradition. Because God is the infinite-personal God, he is intimately involved with the details of my life. My prayers interact with this God-who-is-there giving meaning, purpose, and hope to my life. So writing out my prayers not only becomes a way of interacting with God, but also a way of recording and reflecting on this life-full-of-meaning!
To understand the answers, you need to be in touch with and understand the larger story of your life. Writing out your prayers in prayer journals helps you to do that.

Q. What is the difference between “no story” and “story”?

A PrayingLife, Lesson 1 & 2

A Praying Life, (Lesson 6) Entering Your Father’s Story Through Prayer, (Lesson 7) Learning to Listen To Your Father

Examples of Prayer Cards

My First Prayer Cards

Working Through the Desert in Prayer Cards

My First Climb29 Prayer Card

My Current Climb29 Prayer Card

Types of Prayer Cards

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Verses for Prayer Cards to Help You Get Going

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Your Vertical Relationship:
God’s Word

Psalm 119:9

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.

Psalm 119: 11
I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

Hebrews 4:12
For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

Your Vertical Relationship:
Mentoring & Wisdom from Church Leaders

Going to Church

Philippians 2:4
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Psalm 119:10
With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!

Philippians 4:9
The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Someone Above You

James 1: 5
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Proverbs 20:5
The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

Proverbs 13:20
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Hebrews 13:7
Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.

Proverbs 9:9
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.

Proverbs 13:20
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

John 14:26
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

Someone with You

Proverbs 15:22
Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.

Proverbs 18: 24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.

Galatians 6:1
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Ecclesiastes 4:9
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Someone Under You

1 Peter 5:3
Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

Philippians 4:9
What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

The Second Ripple

Redeeming You

Dignity vs. Definition

Lorem ipsum

Your Goals

What is God Challenging You to Change?

Enhancing Your Dignity

Addressing Your Depravity

Maturing as a Godly Man

Your Body
- Sleeping right - Hitting REM
- Eating right - Nutrition
- Exercising frequently - Healthy endorphins (help to relieve pain and stress)
- Music, sports, outdoors, laughter . . .
Your Heart
- Prayer
- Quiet Time
- Meditation / Reflection
Your Mind
- Continued learning
- Vocational Health
  - Is your family provided for? Is your house in order?
  - Are you working too much/hard?
  - Are you working too little/lazy?

The Third Ripple

Redeeming Your Relationships

The Fourth Ripple

Redeeming Your World

Putting Your Foot on the Neck of Evil: Being a Man

A New Man Chapters

Dependance on God

“I can’t do anything by myself. I can only do what I see my dad doing.”

Q . If you were in a restaurant and you overheard this snippet of conversation from a man at a table next to you, what would you think about him? What might he be like as a person? What concerns would come to mind about him?

􀀁 Very trusting, and doesn’t have much confidence in himself.

􀀁 Co-dependent.

􀀁 Doesn’t have his own personality.

Q . Just off the top of your head, if you were to read this comment, how old would you guess the person who said it was? Why?

Probably young. It’s a very youthful, childlike way of speaking.

Read: John 5:19

“I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father

doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”

John 5:30

“By myself I can do nothing…”

Teach:

􀀁 What’s written up here on the tablet is almost a verbatim summary of Jesus’ reflections on himself.

􀀁 I didn’t say this to trap you. If I hadn’t known this was Jesus speaking, I would’ve answered the ques-tion exactly the same way.

Q . Why is it surprising that this is Jesus speaking?

We don’t think of Jesus as being helpless or not having power.

Teach:

Powerlessness Theme. This isn’t just a minor theme in Jesus’ life. He shows a remarkable dependence on his heavenly Father. Notice that on the one hand Jesus is confident and bold with people, yet when he talks about his heavenly Father he is childlike and dependent.

Childlike Theme. Notice the childlike tone of Jesus’ comment. Once when the disciples were arguing in Matthew 18:1-3, Jesus said they needed to be like little children. So Jesus both tells us to be like little children and models for us what it means to be a little child.

Faith. What we’re seeing here is a description of Jesus’ faith. We think of Jesus as a model for love but not for faith. But Jesus models what faith feels and looks like! Faith feels like weakness with regard to ourselves.

Listen to these other comments of Jesus:

􀀁 John 6:38—“For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me.”

􀀁 John 7:28—“I am not here on my own, but he who sent me is true. You do not know him, but I know because I am from him and he sent me.”

􀀁 John 8:28—“When you have lifted up the Son of Man, then you will know who I am and that I do nothing on my own but speak just what the Father has taught me.”

􀀁 [Optional—Other verses: John 7:18, 12:49-50.]

In other words, this isn’t just a throwaway comment. This describes Jesus’ whole life. Dependence—that is, faith—shapes and empowers honesty and compassion. The opposite is also true. Self-will twists and distorts our honesty and our compassion.

Jesus Says “No” To His Brothers

John 7:1-9—The Feast of Tabernacles

Historical Background The Feast of Tabernacles

Q . Why do Jesus’ brothers want him to go up to Jerusalem? Why, in particular, would they mention Tabernacles?

They want Jesus to be famous.

Teach: Jesus’ brothers were giving him a lesson in basic marketing. Being in the spotlight at the feast would have been the first-century equivalent of getting the opportunity to go on Larry King Live. Jesus

could greatly expand his market share by showing off his miracles.

Q . What do they assume Jesus wants? (It’s right in the text—v. 4.)

They assume he wants to be a public figure.

Q . Why are they making this assumption?

Because that’s what most people want. Everyone else wants to be famous, to receive the cheers of the crowds.

Q . Why might this be a wrong assumption where Jesus is concerned?

Those aren’t Jesus’ goals. He’s not motivated by the lust for fame.

Q . What other motives might Jesus’ brothers have for wanting him to become famous? What might be in it for them?

Glory, fame for themselves.

Q . What other motives might Jesus’ brothers have for wanting him to become famous? What might be in it for them?

Glory, fame for themselves.

Teach: If Jesus becomes famous, his brothers might get some cushy jobs in the administration: head of the turnpike commission, for example. The state of New Jersey, in addition to the Department of Transportation, has a separate commission for the Atlantic City Expressway and another for the Garden State Parkway, each with its own highly paid commissioner. Why? The governor gives the jobs as rewards to his political cronies.

Historical Background Shame/Honor Culture

This natural tendency of the human heart is further reinforced by the shame/honor culture of the Ancient Near East, in which one’s identity was intertwined with one’s family. Individuals had no sepa-rate identity apart from family. Every social transaction accrued either honor or shame on the family. Honor has always been in short supply. If Jesus became famous, then his brothers would get free honor for themselves.

Q . Let me explain part of what’s behind their prodding of Jesus to go to Jerusalem. If I said that the Pope were coming to the United States, and his main stops were to be in Ripon, California; Gold Beach, Oregon; and Jenkintown, Pennsylvania, what would surprise you?

These are all “no-name” places.

Historical Background Backwater Towns

Q . What is Jesus’ answer to his brothers’ marketing help?

He says, “My time has not yet come.”

Teach: Time in the Gospel of John. John, in particular, records Jesus’ usage of this phrase. According to John, Jesus’ time is shaped and controlled by his heavenly Father. He does nothing on his own. All through the book of John, in almost every chapter, a clock is ticking. The clock stops at Jesus’ death when Jesus says, “It is finished.” The time when Jesus is on the cross—not some man-cen-tered seeking of fame—is his time of glory.

Q . What does Jesus mean when he tells his brothers, “For you any time is right”?

Since they aren’t submitting to God’s will, any time becomes “right” for them. They appear to be completely free.

Teach: It’s amazing to see Jesus’ response to his brothers’ Marketing 101 strategy. Jesus is the most controlled person who ever lived. While all of us hate anything that smacks of control, Jesus couldn’t

imagine life without it. In fact, he doesn’t “do life” unless he’s completely in tune with his Father.

Q . While the brothers appear to be free, what are they in bondage to? What’s behind their desire that Jesus go to Jerusalem?

They’re in bondage to their own lusts, their own desire for fame and glory.

Q . While Jesus appears to be in bondage, how is he in fact free?

He’s freed from the opinions of other people. So he’s free to say “no” to others.

Q . How might Jesus’ brothers have interpreted his freedom to say “no” to his family, especially given the cultural values and beliefs of the first-century?

As ignoring or bringing shame on his family.

Teach: If you doubt this truth, just try to stop a bad habit you have. Paul the Apostle tells us that the

person who sins is a slave to sin (Romans 6:20ff).

Read: John 5:41-42, 44—The Praise of Men

How is Jesus’ description of himself in 5:41 (“I do not accept praise from men”)consistent with his refusal to go to Jerusalem and build his name recognition by doing a few miracles?

Jesus doesn’t live for (or care about) the praises of people.

Q . By implication, what is at the core of Jesus’ being (5:42,44)?

Jesus has the love of God in his heart. He knows God loves him.

Q . What’s the connection between having “the love of God in your hearts” and not accepting praises from people?

If we have God’s approval, then we don’t need the approval of other people.

Teach: Look at John 5:19 again. Jesus is helpless only under certain conditions. Jesus would be help-

less only if he were on his own.

Q . If Jesus were to go to Jerusalem with the goal of doing miracles and becoming famous, what would happen to his ability to love others?

It would destroy love. His miracles would be manipulations for power.

Q . How are Jesus’ values different from our world’s views of strength, power, and helplessness?

We’re constantly told not to be helpless, but to find power in ourselves. Jesus has no power in himself.

Teach: Could this be why our world is so powerless now? Could this be why our world has lost its way?

3. Our Self-Will

Illustration:

Q . Why does she say “again”? What is she afraid of?

􀀁 She wants to make sure he doesn’t forget.

􀀁 Underlining his failure—that is, shaming him—might keep him from forgetting.

Q . Who is completely absent from her equation?

God.

Teach: Her frame of mind is, “If I don’t say ‘again,’ then he’ll keep forgetting. If I don’t show him this is becoming a pattern, I’ll be doing the trash regularly.” Notice the underlying assumption: “It all depends on me. If I don’t show him, no one else will.” God is completely absent from her thinking. In the absence of God’s active intervention, she believes her husband must hear her words; otherwise it feels like she’ll be swallowed up by her husband’s forgetfulness. She speaks on her own, using the word ‘again’ to control her husband.

Teach: Self-will is like a skunk in the basement of a beautiful house. No matter how beautiful the living

room, or how fun the party, the smell permeates the whole house.

Principle: Love must be pure.

Q . Why does it feel good to say “again”?

It’s fun to show someone else his sin. We look better because we weren’t bad, but the other person was.

Q . How does saying the word “again” fill the same need in our lives that having “the love of God in your heart” is intended to fill?

Saying the word “again” makes us feel good. It provides a foundation and security for our lives.

Q . Who is Sue depending on to see that her will is done?

Herself.

Read: John 12:49

“For I did not speak of my own accord, but the Father who sent me commanded me what to say and how to say it.”

Q . How does Sue’s approach differ from Jesus’ saying, “I did not speak on my own accord”?

It’s the exact opposite of “I do nothing on my own.” She’s using her words to achieve her will and make herself look good.

Q . How might her word “again” affect Bob?

It would shame him. It would anger him if shaming him were to become a pattern.

Q . How could Sue have been honest, yet not self-willed, in this situation?

􀀁 Either change the tone of the word “again” or drop it.

􀀁 Do some “beam research”—first asking herself if she had forgotten anything lately.

􀀁 Quietly take out the trash on her own, without saying anything. This kind of silent love is always noticed by God.

􀀁 Quietly forbear. Love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs.

􀀁 None of this means that she couldn’t talk to her husband if his forgetfulness were to become a pat-tern.

Q . What would life be like for you if you did nothing on your own? Can you think of a specific example from this last week when you did or said something on your own?

[They will probably just groan if they are beginning to get the idea.]

Dignity & Definition

The Four Ripples

The First Ripple

Redeeming Your Relationship with God Through Jesus

Your Vertical Relationship:
Prayer

A PrayingLife, Lesson 1 & 2

A Praying Life, (Lesson 6) Entering Your Father’s Story Through Prayer, (Lesson 7) Learning to Listen To Your Father

Examples of Prayer Cards

Types of Prayer Cards

Verses for Prayer Cards to Help You Get Going

Your Vertical Relationship:
God’s Word

Psalm 119:9

How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.

Psalm 119: 11
I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.

Your Vertical Relationship:
Mentoring & Wisdom from Church Leaders

Going to Church

Philippians 2:4
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Psalm 119:10
With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments!

Philippians 4:9
The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Someone Above You

James 1: 5
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

Proverbs 20:5
The purpose in a man's heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.

Proverbs 13:20
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.

Hebrews 13:7
Remember those who led you, who spoke the word of God to you; and considering the result of their conduct, imitate their faith.

Proverbs 9:9
Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.

Proverbs 13:20
Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.

John 14:26
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.

Someone with You

Proverbs 15:22
Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.

Proverbs 18: 24
A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.

Galatians 6:1
Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.

Ecclesiastes 4:9
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.

Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

Someone Under You

1 Peter 5:3
Not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock.

Philippians 4:9
What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

The Second Ripple

Redeeming You

Dignity vs. Definition

Lorem ipsum

Your Goals

What is God Challenging You to Change?

Enhancing Your Dignity

Addressing Your Depravity

Maturing as a Godly Man

Your Body
- Sleeping right - Hitting REM
- Eating right - Nutrition
- Exercising frequently - Healthy endorphins (help to relieve pain and stress)
- Music, sports, outdoors, laughter . . .
Your Heart
- Prayer
- Quiet Time
- Meditation / Reflection
Your Mind
- Continued learning
- Vocational Health
  - Is your family provided for? Is your house in order?
  - Are you working too much/hard?
  - Are you working too little/lazy?

Garden Living•26,246ft

“Put aside the ranger. Become who you were born to be.”

- Elrond to Aragorn in The Return of the King

They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green.It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.”

Jeremiah 17: 8

Powerlessness Theme.

Childlike Theme.

Faith.

Listen to these other comments of Jesus:

Jesus Says “No” To His Brothers

Read John 7 :1-9 — The Feast of Tabernacles

Historical Background The Feast of Tabernacles

Why do Jesus’ brothers want him to go up to Jerusalem? Why, in particular, would they mention Tabernacles?

What do they assume Jesus wants? (It’s right in the text—v. 4.)

Why are they making this assumption?

Why might this be a wrong assumption where Jesus is concerned?

What other motives might Jesus’ brothers have for wanting him to become famous? What might be in it for them?

Historical Background Shame/Honor Culture

Historical Background Backwater Towns

What is Jesus’ answer to his brothers’ marketing help (by choosing a better city)?

Jesus and Time

What does Jesus mean when he tells his brothers, “For you any time is right”?

Jesus is Controlled

While the brothers appear to be free, what are they in bondage to? What’s behind their desire that Jesus go to Jerusalem?

While Jesus appears to be in bondage, how is he in fact free?

How might Jesus’ brothers have interpreted his freedom to say “no” to his family, especially given the cultural values and beliefs of the first-century?

Bondage

The Praise of Men

How is Jesus’ description of himself in 5:41 (“I do not accept praise from men”) consistent with his refusal to go to Jerusalem and build his name recognition by doing a few miracles?

By implication, what is at the core of Jesus’ being (5:42,44)?

What’s the connection between having “the love of God in your hearts” and not accepting praises from people?

If Jesus were to go to Jerusalem with the goal of doing miracles and becoming famous, what would happen to his ability to love others?

How are Jesus’ values different from our world’s views of strength, power, and helplessness?

A Self-Will Story

Why does she say “again”? What is she afraid of?

Who is completely absent from her equation?

Her Frame of Mind

Why does it feel good to say “again”?

How does saying the word “again” fill the same need in our lives that having “the love of God in your heart” is intended to fill?

Who is Sue depending on to see that her will is done?

How does Sue’s approach differ from Jesus’ saying, “I did not speak on my own accord”?

How might her word “again” affect Bob?

How could Sue have been honest, yet not self-willed, in this situation?

What would life be like for you if you did nothing on your own? Can you think of a specific example from this last week when you did or said something on your own?

In closing . . .

Describe, using single words or phrases what Jesus means to you? I'm not asking you to be theological. I'm asking it as a personal question. What has He done for you? What does He mean to you?

What have you learned about Jesus on this climb?

As you think about this group coming to a close, is there anything that makes you nervous?

Living in Dependance

“I can’t do anything by myself. I can only do what I see my dad doing.”

If you were in a restaurant and you overheard this snippet of conversation from a man at a table next to you, what would you think about him? What might he be like as a person? What concerns would come to mind about him?

Just off the top of your head, if you were to read this comment, how old would you guess the person who said it was? Why?

Read this and respond as a group

What is the truth being shared here?

I’m Shocked!

Q . Why is it surprising that this is Jesus speaking?

Reinforce a Life of Dependance:

Prayer

Resting in Truth

Let’s start today’s time differently. We are going be quiet, and pray silently before God. Let’s take some time and pray now.

How long do you think that was? Did it feel long or short? Did the time go by quickly or slowly?

What happened when you were praying? Were you able to stay focused?

Did you have any feelings during the prayer time?

Sherpa, compare what everyone said at the end of last week with what we just shared.

When you compare the left and the right, what strikes you? The left is what you feel about Jesus. The right is what you feel like when you talk to Him. What is striking about this?

What is God teaching you when you compare these two sides?

Learning to pray is the first step of living in Dependance

Praying Tool: Prayer Cards

Examples of Prayer Cards

My First Prayer Cards

Working Through the Desert in Prayer Cards

My First Climb29 Prayer Card

My next Climb29 Prayer Card

All of my Climb29 Prayer Cards!

Types of Prayer Cards

Verses for Prayer Cards to Help You Get Going

Entering Your Father’s Story Through Prayer

Key Issue: Why doesn’t God answer my prayers?

I. STORY OF ISRAEL

II. HOPE vs REALITY Chart

They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

Your Vertical Relationship:
Mentoring & Wisdom from Church Leaders

The River Of Life:
Growing Deep and Wide

The First Challenge
Your River Grows Wider

The Second Challenge
Your River Grows Deeper