Cave Sex 3.4
Where Am I Going?
Life out of the cave
20,750ft
The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
1 John 1: 5
The Redemptive System
God’s new Pattern In Your Life
The Addictive Cycle, The Addictive System . . . these are all now tools of the past. It’s time for a new system, one centered around Jesus, fueled by Jesus and guided by Jesus.
Identity In Christ
The Redemptive System
The Addictive Cycle, The Addictive System . . . these are all now tools of the past. It’s time for a new system, one centered around Jesus, fueled by Jesus and guided by Jesus.
How Does God see me? Finding My Identity In Christ.
I am God’s Amazing Design
When my counselor told me about my addictive system, I was broken. Instantly I knew every-word to be true. I didn’t know why yet. I didn’t fully understand how it came to be; but I knew it was true.
I am bad.
No one really loves me.
My needs won’t be met.
I need to take care of myself.
It’s time to go Inner Circle. Who cares?
My counselor looked at me and said, “God cares. He loves you John.”
I heard this my whole life and I politely listened. The next morning, I woke up, ready for my 4 hour commute, and brushed my teeth before I got into the shower. It was then I realized, I never look at myself in the eyes. Never. I look at my body. The parts that are doing well and the parts that aren’t. I look at my hair, my beard . . . but I never look in my eyes.
So I tried. And I didn’t like it.
I realized that I didn’t want to hear about God’s love for me. I didn’t really believe it. So, today, we are going to look at some pretty amazing verses, and slowly ask ourselves:
Do we really believe this about ourselves?
Psalm 139: 13-18
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of
the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in
your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
Before you breathed a single breath, God had all your days planned out. He created you. Designed you. Your nose, your hair, your personality, your gifts, strengths, quirks . . . everything that makes you you, God put there.
Discuss:
Do you have a hard time believing these verses about yourself?
What parts of you have you been ashamed of?
What parts of you should you be proud of, but feel awkward saying out loud?
Have the group share what they see, of God’s image and design, in you.
I Am seen, loved and fully forgiven.
On this journey, we repent and face our sin in Inner Circle so much, at times it’s hard to image how God puts up with us. It’s hard to actually believe that God sees us, loves us and fully forgives us.
We pray it. But do we believe it when we wake up and look in the mirror? Read these verses, together, slowly, and listen.
Does God ignore our sin?
What does God do when we confess?
What does God do with our sins?
How does God see you?
How does God feel about you?
Psalm 103: 8-12
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions
from us.
Each time I repent, a dark voice inside of me whispers, “There is no way Jesus forgives you this time. It’s just too much.” Then I read and meditate on these verses, and watch as evil leaves the room, Jesus enters, sits down next to me like a Father, and I become alive. No longer hiding and afraid of who I am. Seen. Loved. Forgiven. And I stand up again and face evil.
Discuss:
What did you see that Jesus does with our sin?
What does God do when we confess?
What does God do with our sins?
How does God see you?
How does God feel about you?
How should this make us live differently?
I am God's masterpiece created to do good things.
Death sucks. I’ve seen it too much in my life. First my son in 2009, then my sister in 2018. Each of these people were stolen from me. But there is a deep truth in the unspeakable sadness that God has taught me: When I ache thinking about them, and I do, I ache because the image of God that each one of them had, is gone forever until Jesus comes back and raises them from the dead.
Think about it.
No two humans are a like. Billions of us. And each of us different. No one says to me, “I’m sorry you lost your sister Ashley, here is another one for you, they are the same.” Nope. Just one Ash. She was beautiful, loved Jesus, loved her husband and kids, and loved everyone she talked to. Thousands came to her funeral. She was stolen from all of us. We watched, as the image of God, uniquely displayed in Ashley, went dark.
We grieve, because we saw Jesus in Ashley. And that image is gone.
The beauty for me and you is that we have that image too. I am made unique. You are too. Each of us is. When we die, and we will, God image, as uniquely shown through our personality and stories, will die with us. It will never appear again until Jesus returns and raises us from the dead.
Ashley, was created by God, uniquely, to do good works that Jesus created for her to do. And she did it. She crossed into Heaven in full glory.
I too, am created by God, uniquely, to do good works that Jesus has created for me to do. And I’m doing it by writing these words now. One day, I too, will cross into Heaven, in full glory.
But here is where you need to be challenged: Do you believe these words about yourself? Do you see how God has made you, unique, to reflect His glory? You are God’s handiwork, not a mistake. He has prepared something for you to do! Are you doing it? Are you moving towards it? What is he calling you to do?
Do you believe this?
Ephesians 2: 8-10
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Discuss:
Do you believe these words about yourself?
Do you see how God has made you, unique, to reflect His glory?
You are God’s handiwork, not a mistake. He has prepared something for you to do! Are you doing it? Are you moving towards it? What is he calling you to do?
Do you believe this?
I am God's Adopted son.
If the President is speaking in the Rose Garden, and I wanted to stand next to him while he gave a speech to show my support of him, and I ran at him, full speed to be near him, how far would I make it?
Not far.
I might even be shot and killed trying.
But let’s say I was his little son, watching, from inside the White House. And I missed him, and wanted to be near him. I open the door, and walk to him. How far would I make it?
The secret service know me. They even step aside and help me, because they know what the president wants: his son.
I am family.
I belong.
I get to stand next to him.
It’s my right, because he is my father.
Now, be quiet for a moment. If this was true, you would feel amazing about yourself. Even brag, “I’m the presidents son.” Think about this: We are God’s Adopted Sons. The Creator of ALL THINGS choose me and you. We are His. He picked us. I am his, because He choose me.
Read this slowly and let it sink in. Do you believe this?
Ephesians 1: 4-6
Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.
Discuss:
Do you live as an Orphan or an Adopted Son?
Do you see how much God loves you in this passage? How???
If you are truly God’s Adopted Son, what does this mean?
Start to Complete Your Garden Thinking Prayer Card
| Cave ______ | Garden ______ |
|---|---|
| I am ______. | I am seen, loved and fully forgiven (PS 103:12). I am God's masterpiece created to do good things (Eph 2:10). I am God's Adopted son (Eph 1:5). |
| No one ______. | |
| My needs won't be met. | |
| Therefore, I have to take care of myself. |
Faith, Hope & Love
The Redemptive System
Breaking the Addictive System is about noticing it, and starting new healthy behaviors. These stages don’t come naturally for any of us. We need to slow down, breathe deep, and notice it, name it, accept it, investigate it and address what is happening in our lives. This journey isn’t about stopping Inner Circle: It’s about facing evil, finding our Identity in Christ and becoming like Jesus!
Faith
Faith: I look behind me & see my True needs have been met
When my counselor told me about my addictive system, I was broken. Instantly I knew every-word to be true. I didn’t know why yet. I didn’t fully understand how it came to be; but I knew it was true.
I am bad.
No one really loves me.
My needs won’t be met.
I need to take care of myself.
It’s time to go Inner Circle. Who cares?
My counselor looked at me and said, “God cares. He loves you John.”
I heard this my whole life and I politely listened. The next morning, I woke up, ready for my 4 hour commute, and brushed my teeth before I got into the shower. It was then I realized, I never look at myself in the eyes. Never. I look at my body. The parts that are doing well and the parts that aren’t. I look at my hair, my beard . . . but I never look in my eyes.
So I tried. And I didn’t like it.
I realized that I didn’t want to hear about God’s love for me. I didn’t really believe it. So, today, we are going to look at some pretty amazing verses, and slowly ask ourselves:
Do we really believe this about ourselves?
Psalm 139: 13-18
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of
the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in
your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
Before you breathed a single breath, God had all your days planned out. He created you. Designed you. Your nose, your hair, your personality, your gifts, strengths, quirks . . . everything that makes you you, God put there.
Discuss:
Do you have a hard time believing these verses about yourself?
What parts of you have you been ashamed of?
What parts of you should you be proud of, but feel awkward saying out loud?
Have the group share what they see, of God’s image and design, in you.
Hope
Hope: I look to the future and I can trust Jesus will continue to provide my real needs
On this journey, we repent and face our sin in Inner Circle so much, at times it’s hard to image how God puts up with us. It’s hard to actually believe that God sees us, loves us and fully forgives us.
We pray it. But do we believe it when we wake up and look in the mirror? Read these verses, together, slowly, and listen.
Does God ignore our sin?
What does God do when we confess?
What does God do with our sins?
How does God see you?
How does God feel about you?
Psalm 103: 8-12
The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions
from us.
Each time I repent, a dark voice inside of me whispers, “There is no way Jesus forgives you this time. It’s just too much.” Then I read and meditate on these verses, and watch as evil leaves the room, Jesus enters, sits down next to me like a Father, and I become alive. No longer hiding and afraid of who I am. Seen. Loved. Forgiven. And I stand up again and face evil.
Discuss:
What did you see that Jesus does with our sin?
What does God do when we confess?
What does God do with our sins?
How does God see you?
How does God feel about you?
How should this make us live differently?
Love
Love: Because of all of these amazing Truths I am not needy. I can move towards others in love
Death sucks. I’ve seen it too much in my life. First my son in 2009, then my sister in 2018. Each of these people were stolen from me. But there is a deep truth in the unspeakable sadness that God has taught me: When I ache thinking about them, and I do, I ache because the image of God that each one of them had, is gone forever until Jesus comes back and raises them from the dead.
Think about it.
No two humans are a like. Billions of us. And each of us different. No one says to me, “I’m sorry you lost your sister Ashley, here is another one for you, they are the same.” Nope. Just one Ash. She was beautiful, loved Jesus, loved her husband and kids, and loved everyone she talked to. Thousands came to her funeral. She was stolen from all of us. We watched, as the image of God, uniquely displayed in Ashley, went dark.
We grieve, because we saw Jesus in Ashley. And that image is gone.
The beauty for me and you is that we have that image too. I am made unique. You are too. Each of us is. When we die, and we will, God image, as uniquely shown through our personality and stories, will die with us. It will never appear again until Jesus returns and raises us from the dead.
Ashley, was created by God, uniquely, to do good works that Jesus created for her to do. And she did it. She crossed into Heaven in full glory.
I too, am created by God, uniquely, to do good works that Jesus has created for me to do. And I’m doing it by writing these words now. One day, I too, will cross into Heaven, in full glory.
But here is where you need to be challenged: Do you believe these words about yourself? Do you see how God has made you, unique, to reflect His glory? You are God’s handiwork, not a mistake. He has prepared something for you to do! Are you doing it? Are you moving towards it? What is he calling you to do?
Do you believe this?
Ephesians 2: 8-10
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Love: I am not alone. Evil wants me to feel unloved, but this isn’t true
But here is where you need to be challenged: Do you believe these words about yourself? Do you see how God has made you, unique, to reflect His glory? You are God’s handiwork, not a mistake. He has prepared something for you to do! Are you doing it? Are you moving towards it? What is he calling you to do?
Discuss:
Do you believe these words about yourself?
Do you see how God has made you, unique, to reflect His glory?
You are God’s handiwork, not a mistake. He has prepared something for you to do! Are you doing it? Are you moving towards it? What is he calling you to do?
Do you believe this?
Complete Your Garden Thinking Prayer Card
| Cave ______ (Your Name Here) | Garden ______ (Your Name Here) |
|---|---|
| I am ______. | I am seen, loved and fully forgiven (PS 103:12). I am God's masterpiece created to do good things (Eph 2:10). I am God's Adopted son (Eph 1:5). |
| No one ______. | Jesus Loves me. _________ loves me. _________ loves me. _________ loves me. Friends, Church & Family I am loved and seen. |
| My needs won't be met. | Faith: I look behind and see My REAL needs have been met Hope: I look to the future and I can trust Jesus will continue to provide my real needs |
| Therefore, I have to take care of myself. |
Love: Because of all of these amazing Truths I am not needy. I can move towards others in love, choosing to die to to others, trusting in the Ressurection Garden Jesus is growing in my life. |
Putting Your Foot on the neck of Evil
The Redemptive System
Breaking the Addictive System is about noticing it, and starting new healthy behaviors. These stages don’t come naturally for any of us. We need to slow down, breathe deep, and notice it, name it, accept it, investigate it and address what is happening in our lives. This journey isn’t about stopping Inner Circle: It’s about facing evil, finding our Identity in Christ and becoming like Jesus!
Facing Evil
FAITH
I look behind me & see my True needs have been met
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Discuss:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Praesent faucibus quis massa id vehicula.
HOPE
I look behind me & see my True needs have been met
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Discuss:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Praesent faucibus quis massa id vehicula.
LOVE
I look behind me & see my True needs have been met
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Praesent faucibus quis massa id vehicula. Vestibulum sodales velit risus, nec egestas dolor sodales ut. Ut euismod felis eu nibh aliquam fringilla. Nam pellentesque turpis non nunc bibendum, sed laoreet mauris cursus. Sed accumsan lorem vel magna hendrerit ultricies. Nunc nec ligula ac dolor mattis viverra vel et ipsum. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. Nunc ac turpis ex. Duis eu neque gravida, scelerisque mauris nec, blandit sem. Quisque cursus eget felis id vestibulum.
Discuss:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Praesent faucibus quis massa id vehicula.
Turning from Evil Prayer Card
| Jesus, Help me Turn from Evil |
|---|
| Today Evil is pulling me into Cave Thinking. I am feeling _________ |
| Evil is offering me __________ |
| Jesus is offering me ____________ |
| Jesus, hear my prayer: ____________ |
| Now, help me to do the following things to self-soothe / self-stimulate in healthy ways & change my circumstances in a way that honors you: ______________________ ______________________ ______________________ ______________________ |
| Romans 5: 1-5, Peace & Hope Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. |
Becoming Like jesus
The Redemptive System
Breaking the Addictive System is about noticing it, and starting new healthy behaviors. These stages don’t come naturally for any of us. We need to slow down, breathe deep, and notice it, name it, accept it, investigate it and address what is happening in our lives. This journey isn’t about stopping Inner Circle: It’s about facing evil, finding our Identity in Christ and becoming like Jesus!
Inviting Jesus into Our pain, instead of running from it
Faith: I look behind me & see my True needs have been met
When my counselor told me about my addictive system, I was broken. Instantly I knew every-word to be true. I didn’t know why yet. I didn’t fully understand how it came to be; but I knew it was true.
I am bad.
No one really loves me.
My needs won’t be met.
I need to take care of myself.
It’s time to go Inner Circle. Who cares?
My counselor looked at me and said, “God cares. He loves you John.”
I heard this my whole life and I politely listened. The next morning, I woke up, ready for my 4 hour commute, and brushed my teeth before I got into the shower. It was then I realized, I never look at myself in the eyes. Never. I look at my body. The parts that are doing well and the parts that aren’t. I look at my hair, my beard . . . but I never look in my eyes.
So I tried. And I didn’t like it.
I realized that I didn’t want to hear about God’s love for me. I didn’t really believe it. So, today, we are going to look at some pretty amazing verses, and slowly ask ourselves:
Do we really believe this about ourselves?
Psalm 139: 13-18
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of
the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in
your book
before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.
Before you breathed a single breath, God had all your days planned out. He created you. Designed you. Your nose, your hair, your personality, your gifts, strengths, quirks . . . everything that makes you you, God put there.
Discuss:
Do you have a hard time believing these verses about yourself?
What parts of you have you been ashamed of?
What parts of you should you be proud of, but feel awkward saying out loud?
Have the group share what they see, of God’s image and design, in you.
Turning from Evil Prayer Card
| Jesus, Help me Turn from Evil |
|---|
| Today Evil is pulling me into Cave Thinking. I am feeling _________ |
| Evil is offering me __________ |
| Jesus is offering me ____________ |
| Jesus, hear my prayer: ____________ |
| Now, help me to do the following things to self-soothe / self-stimulate in healthy ways & change my circumstances in a way that honors you: ______________________ ______________________ ______________________ ______________________ |
| Romans 5: 1-5, Peace & Hope Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. |
Your Cave Thinking Prayer Card
Cave Thinking vs Garden Living Prayer Card - Example
| Cave John | Garden John |
|---|---|
| I am Bad. | You are seen, loved and fully forgiven (PS 103:12). I am God's masterpiece created to do good things (Eph 2:10). I am God's Adopted son (Eph 1:5). God made every inch of me and knows my story. He has a great plan for my life (PS 139; Rom 8: 28 & 29). |
| No one loves me. | Jesus Loves me. Pam loves me. Tim loves me. My kids love me. Friends, Church, I am loved and seen. |
| My needs won't be met. | Faith: I look behind and see My REAL needs have been met Hope: I look to the future and I can trust Jesus will continue to provide my real needs |
| Therefore, I have to take care of myself. |
Love: Because of all of these amazing Truths I am not needy. I can move towards others in love, choosing to die to to others, trusting in the Ressurection Garden Jesus is growing in my life. |
Cave Thinking vs Garden Living Prayer Card - Template
| Cave __________ | Garden __________ |
|---|---|
| I am _________. | |
| No one ________. | |
| My needs won't be met. | Faith: I look behind and see My REAL needs have been met Hope: I look to the future and I can trust Jesus will continue to provide my real needs |
| Therefore, I have to take care of myself. |
Love: Because of all of these amazing Truths I am not needy. I can move towards others in love, choosing to die to to others, trusting in the Ressurection Garden Jesus is growing in my life. |
“I hated every minute of training, but I said, ‘Don’t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.’”
– Muhammad Ali